Rahul Da Cunha: High-level bromance

I LOVE partnerships between two men or two women. Not business alliances. Those tend to be financial arrangements. I mean high level ‘chemistry’ — bromances. Or sasmances, sismances — the female equivalent of a bromance. I’m particularly interested in jodis that involve two people with similar intentions, two soul mates, but from different countries and cultures. Actually, I’m most partial when it’s one Indian and the other ‘foren’.

Illustration/Uday Mohite
Illustration/Uday Mohite

It was the Modi-Obama alliance (NaMo and BaOb) that first caught my imagination at this higher level of bonding. They were a sight to behold — giving each other a jhappi, the moment the US President stepped off Air Force One. Thing is, Barack giving our PM a bear hug, has created a hugging monster — Narendraji proceeded to hug every world leader since. At one point, he was travelling at such speed and hugging with so much force, that world leaders were more scared of his affection than Al Qaeda attacks. History will testify to the look on France’s Francois Hollande’s visage on getting a Modi hug. It was like he’d just heard about a fresh ISIS attack.

But seriously, the NaMo-BaOb was a jugalbandi that was fun to watch. Chilling over chai. It didn’t matter if they were discussing nuclear disarmament. It was their disarming warmth in each other’s company.

The Nawaz Sharif-NaMo bonding was short-lived. But frankly, given our history, Indo-Pak ‘intimacy’ is just never likely to happen.

IPL has produced one great bromance in the form of Virat and deVilliers. The two of them in sync, sinking the opposition is surreal.

The Royal Challengers Bangalore may not win the trophy, but these two have already won the tournament.

Which brings me to my point, dear reader. It’s time to create some new India-international ‘banda-giri’.

I propose sending some of our ‘netas’ off to experience bonding with like-minded foreign contemporaries.

Donald Trump has announced he needs a running mate. He’s considering Sarah Palin. No man, Ms Palin must remain unattached, so she can ‘connect’ with one of our own — the one and only Jayalalithaa. Instead, I’m recommending one of our guys, the perfect Vice President for Mr Trump. In India, he’s this annoying arm chair critic taking pot shots at the Gandhi family and our ‘green card’ holding RBI governor. He is the patriotic Subramaniam Swamy.

He will be a superb fox terrier for Trump, snapping at the heels of every Ted, Cruz or Rubin. Donald dude, take him away. So we don’t need to listen to his rants. And Raghuram Rajan can focus on our economy in a deserved second term.

And finally, Tim Cook came to town. The usual fanfare doled out to ‘firangi’ biggies was on show.

But the poor Apple CEO got one added extra — a bromance with IPL head Rakesh Shukla who invited him to a GL-KKR game and a ball by ball commentary in 50 degree Kolkota heat.

Mr Cook will step off that flight in California in two days and announce, “Wow, iHome”.

Rahul da Cunha is an adman, theatre director/playwright, photographer and traveller. Reach him at rahuldacunha62@gmail.com

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