Dear Diana,

Illustration/sameer pawar

My brother's wife lives with my parents, mistreats them to the extent that they never have known any peace in the last five years. My brother works on a ship and always buys his wife's version of the 'truth'. My husband and I keep asking them to come live with us, but they refuse to, as they love being with their grandchildren [we just got married a year back and have no children yet], and can't bear the thought of being away from them. We live in a different city and they don't want to move.

Niti

Dear Niti,

It's not that they love you any lesser. It's not even that they don't want to be with you guys. It's just that they've gotten so used to certain things and so attached to certain people for many years, that the very thought of leaving that behind, leaves behind a sense of loss [however deceiving that sense may be]. They've all but given up the hope of fighting back any oppression. You could ask them to visit for a week or so, try and condition them to at least accept the possibility of a new beginning.u00a0

I feel stifled...

Dear Diana,

I have been married 18 years and he has only ever used me to produce children and have sex. He has never bothered about what I want in life. He also forced me to give up on my career, give up on my dreams of becoming a professional singer and despite all this has been an otherwise good husband. He has a good job and we have never known want. I feel stifled the way things are, though. The monotony is painful.