Mommy says, 'Job first, and then a girlfriend!'

Dear Diana,
I'm 21 and have never had a girlfriend. I recently completed my education and am looking around at trainee positions in companies, hoping to learn something as I climb the corporate ladder. Meanwhile, this is going to take time. My mom insists I study further and that I don't have a girlfriend until I land a permanent job. Given the way things are, I don't see that happening any time soon. My father left us when I was a kid and my mother's demands mean the world to me. She hardly makes any, anyway. And while she might be right in her own way, I have rejected proposals of love that came my way because I couldn't bear to break my mom's trust. I'd never be able to live that down. However, I feel lonelier than ever, my friends understand but I'm afraid, they laugh at me behind my back. I'm sure if she got to know one of these girls, she'd like someone. I don't understand why she's restricting me from going out and meeting people.

Urmesh

Dear Urmesh,
Sometimes, the best things come to those who wait. While one would like to think this is the norm rather than the expection, it doesn't always hold true. You spend years building a career, without a companion to see you through those ups and downs, someone to share those hopes and frustrations with... and you end up a very bitter person indeed. Agreed, fate hasn't dealt your mom a fair hand. But I think she ought to let you make your mistakes, rather than protect you. It will help you experience stuff, grow through those experiences and mould your outlook to life. We have our family, but sometimes that isn't enough. We need someone we can be ourselves with.

They just don't seem to get the point

Dear Diana,
I'm 23. I have three very close friends who have been with me through good and lean times, over the last eight years. I'm never ever kept anything from them. Except this. I will be leaving for the US in a few days for a two-year course. I haven't broken the news to them because a) it happened at very short notice and I was informed at the last minute; b) I don't know how they'll take it; c) If I do tell them, they'll say that I purposely broke it to them on the eve of my departure. Which isn't true at all! How do I make them understand?