Dear Diana, My boyfriend and I have been together for three years collectively now. I've broken up with him before because of his uncontrolled anger problem. He gets angry at the smallest things and then I have to calm him down. He says it's normal to express anger but he takes anger to a whole new level. Today we were on our way out to a party, when he got a call from a colleague who needed him to come to work and help out. u00a0 <img alt="" src="/imagedata/2010/oct/06diana.jpg" border="5" /> When he got off the phone he was angry, he swore and smashed his phone to pieces. I've told himu00a0 it upsets me when he gets so angry and I find it hard to be around him. Then he shouted at me and slammed the steering wheel and said we should break upu00a0 because I can't accept him as he is. I started crying and then he started begging me to talk to him and said he didn't mean what he said. He said he realises he has an anger problem and is going to seek help, but I don't know if he really will. Should I give him a chance or should I call it quits? ABC Dear Friend, You need to draw a line and make it very clear to him that his angry tirades are not acceptable. He also needs to know that he cannot say hurtful things to you, and later apologise and expect it to all be okay. Tell him (in a note if you are afraid he will go into a rage) that you love him very much, but that he needs help for his anger issues. You shouldn't take this lightly, because such men over a period of time also get violent. u00a0 And if he doesn't learn to keep a check on his anger, then it will be be wise of you to walk away from this. Make him understand that it isn't that you are not accepting who he is. It's just that you want him to seek help for a problem that hurts him as well. Tell him that you will not even consider coming back until he promises he will seek help and go in for counselling or a serious anger management programme. Don't back away from that line one inch! People who don't get help just sink deeper and deeper into anger issues. I want to be more confident... Dear Diana, I am a 21-year-old girl. I really need some advice on how to boost my confidence. I find that I get very uncomfortable in social situations. I feel awkward and don't know what to say. How can I overcome this? Simi Dear Simi, A good smile is all it takes! You only need to get out there and demonstrate a willingness to meet and mingle. u00a0 Seldom will men turn down a spontaneous conversation with a woman. In short, be brave! Confidence and comfort in public will come with time. He is keeping me dangling! Dear Diana, I am 19. I started chatting with a guy online through some common friends. We got on well and have been out to a movieu00a0 and to lunch together three weeks ago. Since then, we've been chatting online and he even texts me to ask how my day has been. But there hasn't been any talk of meeting again. u00a0 I have said I said I'd like to see him again and he didn't really say anything and changed the subject. Although there has been some flirting online, I think he's not interested. Then why talk to me? I don't get it! Do you think he's interested or just playing a game? Aneeta Dear Aneeta, I think your hunch may be right. He likes you enough to want to be in touch with you, and talk to you but not enough to date you. He isn't spelling it out, perhaps because he doesn't know how to. Which is why when you brought it up, he kind of brushed it aside. If he really wanted to see you again, he would call or ask you again. However, he's keeping you around just in case no one is around to fill his ego. u00a0 So basically he doesn't see a potential for a relationship. Unless you both want the same thing, I would say move on.

Diana will solve it!  Write to Diana at diana@mid-day.com, or fax her on 24150009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012

My boyfriend's anger is ruining our relationship

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My boyfriend's anger is ruining our relationship

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