Illustration/ sameer pawar

Dear Diana,

I have a peculiar problem. I am in love with a married woman who six years older than I am. She has two children: one's a nine-year-old, the other's five. She also loves me a lot. She has lots of problems with her husband. And would like it very much for me to take care of them.

I am also willing to accept her, children et al. Problem is, she isn't very sure how her children will react. Also, her father is a heart patient and might be affected due to this. However, her parents are aware that she isn't happy with her husband, but are not offering her any solutions. Kindly advise as to how to tackle this situation.

Sandip

Dear Sandip,

It isn't that peculair a problem. Although it has the potential of being a very messy one. Introducing her children to you now, would mean that they'd take an instant hatred to you for breaking up their family (even though that may not be the case).

They'll blame you even before knowing the facts. In court, her husband could use this against her to gain custody of the children.

You could talk this over with her parents though and take them into confidence, convincing them that you're right for their daughter and that they should help her in any way they can. Break it gently to them if you're sure this is what you want and that you're ready to go the whole hog with this.

A few months after the divorce though, you could break the news to the kids. Granted, they may not accept you soon enough, but at least you won't be the scapegoat!

I'm way older... but perfect for her!

Dear Diana,

I'm 35 years old while my cousin is 21. We're deeply in love with each other. We've been planning to get married for five yeard now. I understand there's a 14-year age difference between the two of us; would marrying each other be the right thing to do? I'm also a non-smoker and also a teetotaler. Also, we haven't had sex yet and are still virgins. Is there hope?