Talking about aams in our introduction, when the heat is on and the ground is baking and the mercury is merciless, it is time to realise the impotence... oops &lsquo;aam&rsquo; potence of being earnest.
<img title="Mango" src="http://images.mid-day.com/images/2015/apr/12mango.jpg" alt="Mango" /> Illustration/Amit Bandre
So, maybe it is the touch of the sun, but just wondering...
&gt;&gt; Whether one mango sings to another, in a burst of old-style romanticism, &ldquo;mere aam-ne waali khidki mein ek chand ka tukda rehta hai&rdquo;. &gt;&gt;&nbsp;Whether one mango crate engaged in a bank holdup growls sinisterly, &lsquo;Watch out, no funny business, I am aam-ed and dangerous&rsquo;. &gt;&gt;&nbsp;Why a mango cannot try for a job in the Indian aam-y. &gt;&gt;&nbsp;Whether a crate of mangoes attending a Page 3 party, is just so much aam candy dahling. &gt;&gt;&nbsp;Whether a politically inclined mango can only join the Aam Aadmi Party (AAP). &gt;&gt;&nbsp;Whether mangoes will go to the Olympics in Rio (Brazil) as part of an aam wrestling team. &gt;&gt;&nbsp;Whether the mother mango tells the baby, &lsquo;well it is time to cut the aam-bilical chord&rsquo;. &gt;&gt;&nbsp;Why mangoes are never worried about accidents as an aam-bulance is always at hand. &gt;&gt;&nbsp;Why the ongoing Indian Premier League (IPL) does not have a Third Aam-pire. &gt;&gt;&nbsp;Whether the richest owner in the IPL is Aam-bani. &gt;&gt;&nbsp;Whether playwright George Bernard Shaw would have invited a gender discrimination suit against him by a mango for writing &lsquo;Aams and the Man&rsquo; and leaving out the women. &gt;&gt;&nbsp;Whether an empty mango crate, would say: move over Bruce Lee, I too am proficient in un-aam-ed combat? &gt;&gt;&nbsp;Whether an Arab tycoon of a dairy industry favourite beverage is a mango milk-sheikh. &gt;&gt;&nbsp;Whether Narendra Modi and B Obama talked about mangoes from India going to the US and forming the Aam-pire State Building, in a new Indo-US collaboration. &gt;&gt;&nbsp;Whether India will ever send a crate of mangoes as the country&rsquo;s Aam-bassador to the United Nations. &gt;&gt;&nbsp;Whether a mango starring in a 1980s Hindi movie would be hurt in a car crash, suffer from aam-nesia, wake up in a strange place, lose his brother and finally be re-united with his sibling in the last reel of the movie and the audience would stop sniffing into their handkerchiefs. &gt;&gt;&nbsp;And when talking about accidents, whether a mango involved in a train accident, would get a prosthetic aam? &gt;&gt;&nbsp;Whether a mango welcomes another with open aams. &gt;&gt;&nbsp;Whether mangoes are part of the multiplex movie experience, with those plush seats and great aamrests. &gt;&gt;&nbsp;Why a gay mango does not come out of the closet, enter the Mumbai gay Pride and sing the anthem: Life is a sham, till I can say, I aam, what I aam? &gt;&gt;&nbsp;Whether a mango nursing a broken heart needs some b-aam to his wounds. &gt;&gt;&nbsp;Why Mumbai&rsquo;s public transport system continues to hike its fares, isn&rsquo;t it meant for the aam junta? &gt;&gt;&nbsp;Why a mango cannot try out for the Indian cricket team, as a left aam spinner. &gt;&gt;&nbsp;Whether mangoes that do not play cricket but report on the game, analysing our performance in the recent World Cup, are simply aam-chair critics. &gt;&gt;&nbsp;Why Mumbai beggars are constantly asking for aams, even when it is not mango season. &gt;&gt;&nbsp;Whether one mango asks another rakishly in the spirit of your place or mine, well your aam or mine?
&gt;&gt;&nbsp;Whether a couple of mangoes have now decided to keep up with the trends and be sold online. You can order them on Aamazon.com &gt;&gt;&nbsp;Whether Mumbai&rsquo;s moral police would crack down on mango movies with names like: &lsquo;A Date with the Crate&rsquo; and &lsquo;For your aams only&rsquo; or tell the Censor Board to go ahead and give them a U/A certificate. &gt;&gt;&nbsp;Whether you have heard of the well-known mango, who is a film director, telling newbies that the casting crate is part of getting a break. &gt;&gt;&nbsp;Whether you have heard of the mango exporter who has been accused of being an international aams dealer. &gt;&gt;&nbsp;The same aams dealer, who has been falsely accused, is now looking for a lawyer that will help him out of this mess. His friends have suggested someone called Aam Jethmalani. Have you heard of someone like that? &gt;&gt;&nbsp;Whether the same aams dealer or exporter to give him his correct label, has been warned though that eminent lawyers like the one above, charge an aam and a leg for just one court appearance. &gt;&gt;&nbsp;Whether this columnist would need a lawyer after being sued for making you go through this. But you had an option, didn&rsquo;t you? So, why are you still reading this tripe, anyway?

Now that the king of fruits is here, what better reason or season to get some king-sized laughs... or maybe a chuckle or two? We say, just for this Sunday, put that oh-so-serious demeanour aside, and get a little flip, with tongue firmly in cheek. What&rsquo;s the aam in that!

Humour: A tongue-in-cheek look at the 'mango season'

Mumbai: Tourists to miss spotting the lion at SGNP this summer

Now that the king of fruits is here, what better reason or season to get some king-sized laughs... or maybe a chuckle or two? We say, just for this Sunday, put that oh-so-serious demeanour aside, and get a little flip, with tongue firmly in cheek. What&rsquo;s the aam in that!

Humour: A tongue-in-cheek look at the 'mango season'

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Home / Mumbai / Mumbai News / Article / Humour: A tongue-in-cheek look at the 'mango season'

Humour: A tongue-in-cheek look at the 'mango season'

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