Since the Delhi HC ruling, gay helplines are ringing off the hook. Closet gays are asking for advice on how to come out, to their hetero partners and their parents

An increasing number of gays in India have started calling helplines for advice on coming out. For instance, before July 2 (when the Delhi High Court pronounced its extraordinary decision), the Humsafar Trust got about 10-15 calls every day. That number has now swelled four times over and most calls are from people who want to disclose their sexual preferences to their close ones, including parents and friends. The NGO receives not less than 35-40 calls daily at all/each of the three centres located in Vakola, Kalyan and Juhu.



Kalpita Lanjekar Patil, chief coordinator of Humsafar's counseling centre, is a clinical psychologist and has been here for three years. Patil says most callers are between the ages of 20-35.

"Earlier, callers asked us to help them find partners. Others hesitated in opening up. This has changed after July 2. Callers are more open. Most ask us how they should tell their parents and even if they can come to the centre with their parents," said Patil.

The trust has been approached via phone and mails in the last few weeks. Reading one such mail, Patil said, "One man wrote that he was gay and wanted to tell his parents, but was nervous as he was an only child and they loved him very much. I'll counsel him and if needed, even call him," said Patil.

How Mumbai's coming out

Just last week, a gay couple in their late twenties from Mumbai met Patil. They wanted to come clean to their parents. But then, they went for an HIV test and one of them was tested HIV +ive. The HIV-ive partner is adamant that they disclose their sexual identity to their parents, not only because they want to stay together but because the HIV-ive partner wants to take care of the other. "I was touched by the couples' decision. I am still counseling them. They have decided to disclose their sexual identities to their parents, but they won't tell them about the HIV thing as it might cause some problem in the future," said Patil.
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