So there was an earthquake this week. Except in West Bengal, where it’s called a “rollback”. Natural disasters seem to be on the rise these days; Japan had a tsunami last year, America had a devastating tornado earlier this year, and India was struck by a horrible case of Housefull 2 last week. It was directed by Sajid Khan, who, when he is not engineering the devolution of cinema, campaigns to have heavenly bodies smaller than him stripped of planet status. So yeah, Pluto’s only crime was being smaller than Sajid Khan.

But earthquakes aren’t what they used to be. They used to be celebrities in their own right, paragons of destruction, the rockstars of the disaster world. Kim Kardashian even tried to marry one. (Didn’t work out in the end. “I’m an earthquake, not herpes” the quake was quoted as saying). But now earthquakes have become just the tip of the iceberg, just the Launchpad for an even more famous disaster; the tsunami.