Aditya Sinha: Of book signings and severed heads

Autographing books requires patience It was the weekend so the stalls were jampacked and people of all sizes and shapes thronged ours Representation picOn Saturday the first carton of my crime novel lsquoThe CEO Who Lost His Headrsquo came from the printers and PanMacmillan asked me to sign copies at their stall at the ongoing World Book Fair at Pragati Maidan a sprawling Sovietstyle exhibition ground in the heart of the Capital It had been ages since I visited the book fair we used to visit when I lived in Delhi and my children were young but since the early2000s I have avoided it because the kids have flown the nest and also it is so crowded as to induce claustrophobiaAutographing books requires patience It was the weekend so the stalls were jampacked and people of all sizes and shapes thronged ours They streamed past the childrenrsquos table where three stacks of my books were waiting to be bought and signed Two children ran up to me and asked ldquoWherersquos the clayrdquo The marketing chief explained that the previous day they had held childrenrsquos activities at that very table Today there was an event around a book on hairstyling for girls earlier last week the same event had attracted a long queue of preteen queens waiting patiently for their curls and waves Damn I thought for my novel I should have gotten a prop possibly a severed headA pack of schoolchildren in blue blazers with the school emblem patched onto the breast pocket gathered around me They were curious What will you sign Is that your name You have written the book Why do you have to sign it if your name is already printed on the book They were sweet and so I took the time to answer as simply as I could that booksignings were merely a faux version of celebrityism in a modern world of online and televised images run amok They were uninterested in any Baudrillardtype deconstruction but a couple of boys were keen that I inscribe a copy for them ldquoHow much does it costrdquo At the fair there was a 25 per cent discount so that came to Rs 225 at which all their faces fell ldquoUncle mere paas toh paise nahin hairdquo one crestfallen boy said No worries I said there must be around 200 of you so each of you can chip in a rupee and Irsquoll make up the difference and Irsquoll write all 200 names ldquoUncle others are not interestedrdquo That was thatA man and his energetic son approached and the baffled boy read the title aloud as a question Yes I told them itrsquos about a CEO who removed his own head but misplaced it and he could not find it because he didnt have a head with which to search They immediately fledAnother two boys approached the table so I told one that if he bought this book his mothers might stop pestering him to study hard and become a CEO They shrank away and my publisher rolled her eyes saying that any young boy reading my admittedly racyinparts novel was going to get a most unexpected introduction to crime writingThe first to buy the book was a woman a young journalist and her spouse in publishing We chit chatted I was overthemoon Immediately after a balding man with heavyframed glasses and a natty leather jacket came up and introduced himself as Siddharth Chowdhury I must have looked blankly for he thanked me for the generous reviews of his books that I had written over the years ldquoOhhhrdquo I said thrilled to finally meet one of my favourite contemporary Indian writers I sat and wondered until he gently coughed so I finally came up with something trite disguised as witMy nephews came by and that touched me deeply Then a string of former journalists showed up each asking me the same question ldquoIs the book about XYZrdquo They were referring to the Mumbai daily of which I was editorinchief in 20112012 Since the novel is also set in a newspaper office in Mumbai everyone assumes I am settling scores To all I say one thing Any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental My only true inspiration was Mumbai itselfYet it is difficult to convince others that this is a work of fiction Some excolleagues have messaged to ask Boss am I in the novel I hate to disappoint them but I have to say no the only reallife character in the novel is Mumbai Most write epic odes to Mumbai or make films in the form of loveletters and perhaps I ought to have written something akin to lsquoWar and Peacersquo or lsquoIn Search of Lost Timersquo That was the original intention but then you know about life itrsquos all the things that happen to you while you search out your destinationAditya Sinharsquos crime novel The CEO Who Lost His Head is available online now and in bookstores later this month He tweets autumnshade Send your feedback to mailbagmiddaycom