Kaju katli and sweet memories

My husband does not like kajukatli kaju barfi to some and yet I have stayed married to him It is one of those difficult compromises you make in life It takes a lot of courage to make a success of a relationship when there is such a fundamental difference in onersquos principles lsquoThe love for kajursquo transcends epicurean boundaries It is a principle for some of us You are either with us or against usCashew nut lovers are divided into two sides of the spectrum Quite unlike mango lovers You can be an Alphonso person or a Langda or a Safeda person there are many castes and subcastes to mango aficionados Not so with kaju likers and lsquodislikersrsquo You either like kaju in your mithai and your pudding or you donrsquotAs you might have guessed this column is a celebration of that delicious mithai kaju katli Made out of cashew nut sugar and some cardamom this is a favorite of millions of Indians Nothing quite makes the cut like kaju barfi Not almonds not walnut not any other dry fruit Itrsquos that special Pakistani visitors to India almost always carry back boxes of kaju barfi from IndiaNothing quite makes the cut like kaju barfi Not almonds not walnut not any other dry fruit File Pic You get great badam barfis in Pakistan but cashew barfi is an Indian specialtyMany of us have smuggled boxes of kaju katli through customs and agriculture control in many airports Those sniffer dogs walked past our suitcases carrying the precious cargo of kaju barfis lovingly packed in neat rows of diamond shaped delightsI have tasted kaju barfis in many countries they just donrsquot make the cut like the ones in India There is something special about Indian mithai that is made in India Especially mithais like rasmalai jalebis and kaju barfis The delicate flavour just cant be replicated elsewhereI never found the perfect kaju barfi in Delhi My stock used to be sent by my chacha fatherrsquos brother from Mumbai For several years he would lovingly carry it to Delhi himself or send it via any friend or relative visiting Delhi Chikkappa passed away last Friday My supply of kaju katli from Chembur ended last weekIt made me wonder was it the kaju katli that was so special or was it my yearning to be in Mumbai with family eating hapus mango and kaju katli every summer vacation Some foods take us on a culinary time travel In my motherrsquos sideof the family lsquogerbeeja ajethnarsquo is a special dish prepared with tender cashew nuts In my fatherrsquos side of the family a lsquotondekai palyarsquo consists of some kundruapple gourd and loads of cashews to give that crunchI add kaju to rice puddings and dumplings instead of almonds like most people up north It takes me back into my childhood It is a feeling that is shared by many of my friends and cousins who live abroad Certain foods trigger emotional links to onersquos country of birth I have found NRIs in America Europe and SouthEast Asia aimlessly walking in the aisles of Indian grocery stores smelling the masalas touching the jars of pickles gazing at gaudily coloured mithai that taste almost as awful as they look Many hoping that food smells will close the gap of time and distanceAs we grow older our food habits change The foods of our childhood are the memories locked away waiting to be recaptured in some quiet moment Those soft echoes come back and forth linking our place of birth or childhood with our presentIt is the link we pass on to the families we create I was thrilled when my son showed the same obsession for kaju barfi tondekaibeeja palya that I have that my parents have that my grandparents had It isnrsquot just maudlin nostalgia it is a desire to bond the past with the future that makes us hold on to food memorieshellip an intergenerational continuity that breaks barriers of language caste community and geography These recipes and tastes are mine to be bequeathed as heirloomsSmita Prakash is Editor News at Asian News International You can follow her on Twitter smitaprakash