Lindsay Pereira: A nation groped by casual sexism

A woman was molested by two men on a bike in Bengaluru on January 1 File picPublic memory is short The incident of mass molestation in Bengaluru on January 1 had a whole lot of people frothing at the mouth going on and on about how Bengaluru is unsafe for women how it has given men a bad name and how the city is as awful now as Delhi has always been Women changed their profile photographs on Facebook in mark of solidarity while men on Twitter created hashtags to prove they werenrsquot like the molesters of Bengaluru I would like to point out however that the Bengaluru incident was similar to one that happened outside the Gateway of India on New Yearrsquos Eve exactly a decade agoLet me refresh your memory A woman in her mid 20s was reportedly molested by a mob in full public view despite the presence of cops nearby She was photographed screshyaming for help while a few men attempted to tear her clothes below the waist Her male companion was assaulted as more men tried to molest the woman for almost ten minutes Exactly a year after that incident in 2008 a mob of 70 to 80 men groped and molested two young women for approximately 15 minutes in Juhu in the wee hours of the morningItrsquos easy to blame men on the strshyeets of course and attack the women because that comes so naturally to us in India anyway Itrsquos easier to say that this happened on the streets as the men in question were obviously uncouth possibly illiterate and definitely drunk All that is speshyculation though There must have been hundreds of men in both cities who were neither illiterate nor drunk Itrsquos as if we have come to the conclusion that the only Indian men who attack women are those who do not represent so many of us And there lies the problemI have since this latest incident been thinking about the way we speak of women constantly By lsquowersquo I mean people who have been to schshyools and go through life fairly sober at least on weekdaysI worked at a startup in South Bombay not too long ago that was managed by men who were well educated one supposedly at Cambridge although he never displayed signs of intelligence sober and brought up by middle and upper middle class families I recall conversations about women that were routinely held among this group all of whom looked upon women in the organisation as little more than commodities The COO of this company routinely referred to them disparagingly as lsquotalentrsquo They were hired on the basis of how they looked and not on their qualifications And the HR department ironically headed by a woman did nothing to stop this ldquocasual sexismrdquo that pervaded every corner of the organisation despite my repeated complaintsDays after the incident in Bengaluru a major Bollywood star ranted about how India appears to be moving backwards instead of forwards What made his statement reek of hypocrisy was the fact that he had never had any qualms about starring in films that routinely degraded women bringing them on board as eye candy and for the odd item number because we are told that is the only kind of cinema that earns money in our sexually repressed countryCasual sexism abounds everywhere if we take a few minutes to look for it Itrsquos rampant in Indian advertising obvious in the pay structures across corporate India and blatant in any Indian city the minute a woman decides to walk down a street wearing shortsItrsquos also why a woman who smokes is still capable of attracting a small crowd even in a city as supposedly progressive as BombayTo blame men on the streets for doing what they did to those women in Bengaluru is an easy way of absolving ourselves from our responsibilities What movies are you taking your children to What are you telling your sons What are you tellshying your daughters Do you simply acknowledge the fact that Indiarsquos streets are not safe for women or do you try and analyse why that is by recognising symptoms of that same disease at home in your locality and the office you work inIf you let your sons get away with casual misogyny you are part of the problem If you buy tickets to movies that paint men who harass women as heroes you are part of the problem And if you tell your daughters what they can and cannot wear you are certainly part of the problemWhen he isnrsquot ranting about all things Mumbai Lindsay Pereira can be almost sweet He tweets lindsaypereira Send your feedback to mailbagmiddaycom