Lindsay Pereira: Whose Women's Day is it anyway?

As many as 200 women train in selfdefence in a session organised by Delhi Police in collaboration with World Vision India on the occasion of Womenrsquos Day PicAFPMy week began with a number of WhatsApp forwards and text messages wishing me a Happy Womenrsquos Day This wasnrsquot a surprise anymore because I have made my way through life with most people assuming Irsquom a woman until we meet and they then struggle to hide their surprise Itrsquos what happens when your parents give you a name that isnrsquot exactly genderspecific The messages I received didnrsquot make me happy though because as a teenager with waistlength hair a story for another day I was given a rather unique opportunity to understand just how important women are to Indian men I came to the conclusion quickly that they werenrsquot particularly important at allWhat I learned the hard way all those years ago is that living in India with any attributes that may be construed as feminine makes you a target It allows men of all ages across social strata to treat you like a piece of meat to stare at you and comment on the shape of your body or rub against you until they find out that you are not actually female I was a slim young man which didnrsquot help The catcalls would cease only when I turned and revealed the distinctly nonfeminine shape of my jaw On local trains I was groped almost daily by men who stupidly assumed I was a crazy woman trying to enter the general compartment No one refers to it as a compartment solely for men but women who dare to enter are still given a nonverbal dressing down especially during rush hourTo cut a long story short I find the idea of celebrating Womenrsquos Day hypocritical Offices now routinely send out roses or inane greeting cards to female employees on this day presumably because this gives HR personnel a break from their otherwise important duty of emailing birthday wishes or lsquoThoughts For The Dayrsquo to colleaguesBrands and products pay a premium to advertise on television channels that choose to showcase womencentric content convenieshyntly ignoring the fact that our Central Board of Film Certification recently refused to grant a filmmaker permission to release a film on the grounds that it was lsquoladyorientedrsquoWhen was the last time any government at the state or Centre did anything positive or progressive for women apart from a few token sops doled out as PR exercises before a budget or election One can argue that no government has done anything special for men either but no one I know is aware of Menrsquos Day so thatrsquos beside the point Take something as essential as a commute which continues to be fraught with danger for women across IndiaGovernments put out apps and allocate guards on trains in metros but no one really cares about how any womshyan travels outside our larger cities after 6 pm The fact that our Capital continues to be dangerous for women after sunset in 2017 raises no eyebrows Half a decade after the gang rape in Delhi that shook us all little on the ground suggests that the women there are comfortable travelling on their own after sunsetWe donrsquot even acknowledge issues like domestic violence let alone marital rape which according to one of our many honourable ministers coshyuld not be made into a criminal offeshynce in India because of illishyteracy poverty religious beliefs and the lsquosanctityrsquo of marriage Then therersquos the 108th Constitution Amendment Bill also referred to as the Womenrsquos Reservation Bill which has been discussed and debated for approximately two decades Introduced in 1996 passed by the Rajya Sabha in 2010 it continues to languish simply because of a lack of political willSex determination continues to be a problem Around 19 aborted female foetuses were found dumped near a stream in Sangli Maharashtra a few days ago How does it make sense to celebrate Womenrsquos Day in a country that simply brushes these issues under the carpet instead of working towards genuine reforms I continue to think about my life as a teenager with long hair and what it made me deal with on the streets of Indiarsquos most developed city If it was that bad here how much worse is it for women outside What can they sayInternational Menrsquos Day yes it exists obviously is supposedly celebrated on November 19 I donrsquot think we need to celebrate it here either though considering we live in a country where every day is pretty much a day reserved exclusively for menWhen he isnrsquot ranting about all things Mumbai Lindsay Pereira can be almost sweet He tweets lindsaypereira Send your feedback to mailbagmiddaycom