A queen-in-waiting

In the bedroom the window airconditioner is fighting a raging battle against the October heat And while inside it might seem that machine is winning against nature in the bathroom where Shyenne Pepper has been standing since 530 pm its nearly 8 pm now the equation seems slightly differentPeering into the bathroom mirror Pepper who calls himself a baby queen which is drag for newbie has spent the hours shaving his beard colour correcting it with red or orange working on his skin tone eyes lips He is at a friends home In a short while he is expected to share his story at Tape A Tale at Bandras The Cuckoo Club an event where performers discuss personal journeysFriends help him with the rubber pipe skirtThe washing machine inside the bathroom is strewn with makeup Theres a whole array from base layers and foundations to eye shadows and blushes Pepper turns away from the mirror and lets a sigh of exasperation He has been working on his eyes for 20 minutes and is not happy with how things are going He pouts as he checks his profile to get the cheekbone details right I dont know what went wrong I need to practice more Lets see if I can fix it with this he says picking up a gold leaf which he then places over his eyelidSitting in a room at his home in a pair of shorts and tee Pepper in his boy avatar is a far cry from the sassy Shyenne on stage There Pepper often introduces himself with Im a drag queen Which basically means Im a more fabulous version of Poo from K3G but with a dkHe works with presson nailsHis own name says Pepper came from his time abroad I used to cook a lot and would love my spices like any Indian person I wanted a name that referenced India but not something that only Indians would understand so I chose pepper he smiles He admits its a bit stereotypical but I thought it works and then I chanced upon the name Cheyenne in Wyoming and the city name stuck with me but it sounded like a cool name so I switched from cayenne pepper to Shyenne Pepper The change in the spelling he says is for no good reasonBut drag isHe stepped into the world he says after much thought Abroad for an undergraduate course in economics Pepper says he had issues with being happy And where the winters were long and gloomy what ended up bringing some cheer was the pioneering reality television show RuPauls Drag Race A show now in its 10th season it has given drag queens in America a platform to showcase their skills makeup styling designing costumes and performing In fact Pepper often argues that drag needs to be seen as a form of high art After all it has if only not perceived through a gender lens all the ingredients of oneHe thinks he needs practice with eye makeup and chooses to fix an imperfect attempt with gold leaf on the eyelidsSeason 6 was when Pepper first watched RuPauls show Initially he says he wondered if his unhappiness was to do with gender expression and questioned if he may be trans That disturbed me It is scary because being a transwoman is very difficult and suicide rates and depression are highWhen watching drag made me feel happy I wondered do I want to be a woman Initially I was afraid to do drag because I was afraid that if I did it it would confirm my fear that I might actually be trans And I didnt want to face the fear because if you are trans you have to get surgeries hormone treatment Theres a very challenging transition journey accompanied by a medical and psychological process Later I asked myself am I unhappy with my body And I realised I am not I dont want breasts I dont even like the idea of a vagina he laughsThe audience at Kitty Sus Halloween party paid Rs 1000 each to watch Pepper and other performersIt took him a couple of years sleepless nights and conversations with friends to realise that gender is a spectrum and not a binary This is a prevailing idea within liberal circles and I realised that I am a male with a feminine side Through drag I can express that sideFor his 22nd birthday Pepper still abroad threw a dragthemed party He called home a makeup artiste bought outfits from thrift stores and dressed up It was the best night of my life We including some straight male friends did catwalks lip sync and I didnt feel any different doing that I had feared that I might think I might be trans but that didnt precipitate It was funIts Monday evening and the Halloween Party at Kitty Su the club at The Lalit Hotels which has become a venue and promoter of drag performances across the country is just a few days away Pepper has landed a spot and prep has begun on full scaleInitially he wondered if he was trans But then I asked myself am I unhappy with my body I realised I am not he saysThe plan for the outfit is ready And the skirt structure involves three hoops of different circumferences made of rubber pipes held together and in shape by ribbons Metal would have added more structure but it would have made walking moving through doors sitting down much harder He shrugs Its all an experiment I dont know what I am doing The pipes in the initial stages of the costume are still in their original colour Pepper plans to cover them with black tape The finish of the tape is close to the black PVC material with which he plans to make the skirt A pair of shorts that he previously sewed on his own is what he plans to cut into the shape of highwaist hot pantsPepper has a tiny sewing machine at home gifted by an older relative This is where he has made the shorts and this is where he will stitch the Halloween skirt Its a skill he has learnt only in the last one year that he has started doing drag But his room is full of the necessary accessories He pulls out hip pads made from mattress foam bought on Hill Road He shows how to place them and says they stay in place once you wear enough tights Then there are corsets to cinch in the waistPosing for pictures after an act at The Hive on Linking Road BandraThere are paper patterns for the shorts YouTube has been a good teacher for everything from stitching and sewing to makeup and accessorising While drag which he says is merely an exaggeration of gender perhaps even the rejection of gender can allow for androgynous bodies the ideal he says is the Kardashain hourglass figureWe step out at Bandras shopping mecca Hill Road around 6 pm to start hunting for everything his costume still needs There are a few items he doesnt know the word for though he knows which shop to hunt for them at Fortunately here everything is on show so I dont flounder too much he says as the shopkeeper hands him a waistband Then we hit Sona Bazaar where he asks if the PVC fabric is available At Rs 450 a metre he needs five metres The first shop has run out of it but waiting for another batch will mean a loss of 24 hours Hes lucky and finds the material next doorGuests approach Pepper after the showLe Bijou is where he finds a pair of stockings Doesnt he get raised eyebrows when shopping for corsets stockings and gloves Mostly no he says And on the off chance that someone has asked him why he is trying out a skirt he says he is an actor It seems plausible enough After all even the street hawker though seeming to sell the finger rings to this writer a female didnt bat an eyelid when Pepper in nondrag avatar picked up a few for himselfWith a suitcase full of drag stuff and heels that only fit Peppers size 42 feet hiding drag is hardly possible But the confrontation of the issue happens when for this article Pepper reaches out to his family asking if they will be okay with him being in a newspaperHe stiched the PVC bustier and hot pants on a personal sewing machineHis father is skeptical Your generation is okay with a lot of things but if he goes out and gets a job what if this comes in the way of his careerOn hearing the news his father we learn had reached out to famed drag queen Rani KoHEnur aka Sushant Divgikars parents to understand what the repercussions of the story might be While Pepper wasnt privy to the entire exchange he says Divgikars parents said that ultimately if drag is what makes their son happy they are okay with itSitting in Peppers room heading out to work a little late only to meet this writer his father says that he knew of Peppers drag shows even before his son showed him a video of his performance I wont tell you who showed it to me he says much to Peppers chagrin His parents dont want Peppers real name in the paper Nor any photos that might reveal his nondrag identity His sister would prefer Pepper says if the article isnt published at all She knew that I was doing drag and she has seen some of my photos on Instagram but she is skeptical about the article being out therePepper prepares for the Tape A Tale performance backstage at The Cuckoo ClubPeppers maternal aunt whom he consults ahead of his Tape A Tale performance also fears for his future She adds that Pepper is an intelligent young man and capable of reaching heights in the field of economics You could get into the World Bank or IMF or the UN Once you have achieved success you can say I am gay like the Prime Minister of Ireland or that Scandinavian minister who has a female partner You dont want to be discriminated against while climbing up the ladder A medical practitioner the aunt says she knows how deeply prejudiced the world can be Its not about them a future employer openly discriminating but these ideas are so deeply entrenched its better not to be in your face This is your personal life and no ones business but why go and show a red flag to a future bullPepper during a different conversation expresses why he will pursue drag despite seeing how its such a challenge for my parents family and society For him now drag has become a way to express his gender identity while at the same time not living the lifestyle of a gender queer person in everyday life Its a place where I can express a different side to my gender while still compartmentalising itAbout any possibility of revelation through the article he says staying silent about drag for another 20 years will eat into his happiness A life of fear will plunge him into the darkness he has hauled himself out of If it comes out it comes out the truth I dont want to work in a company where they might discriminate anyway He knows that while drag will continue to be his passion the chance of earning from it is low Plus economics his thesis involves studying Indias Public Distribution System and its effect on health allows him to interact with the world in a way that even fashion might not be able to If I were to design Id end up just making clothes for rich peoplePrivilege is an important subject for Pepper He is aware of his own privilege His own drag journey for instance It began last October at Kitty Su They were bringing down a RuPaul winner Alaska 5000 to India to perform Pepper wanted to meet her Not as a mere fan but in drag This he hoped would allow him a better chance I told my mom about Alaska and how I was a big fan and that it was a big deal I needed money to attend this She was unsure but said okayThe family wasnt meant to see anything But at the last minute Peppers makeup help cancelled The next option was to use his sisters stash and because he couldnt take it out of the house he had to step out of his home his face fully made up My sister was upset by how much of her makeup I had used Everyone in the family saw He changed costumes in the cab His first night out in India in drag and he says he experienced nothing but positivity He has changed and worn makeup in autos cabs mens loos and in one instance even in the general compartment of a local train Aside from Kitty Su he has also performed as a standup comic in dragNo one has ever said anything negative People have come up to me asked for photos and congratulated and thanked me And then he speaks of a drag queen whose parents found out and threw a fit To calm them she had to keep her drag clothes at a friends place I have not seen her in drag sincePepper says heading to Kitty Su regularly in drag helped They saw what I was doing was good and so gave me a chance to perform He tested his open mic skills at venues across the city A perennial joke is Chembur is not his crowd Western suburbs are more like itIts Halloween evening at the club and after several hours of waiting even as the floor gets filled with drag queens and Valak The Nun who sends shivers down the spine theres finally some sign that the performance may startPepper opens the show Turns out at the last minute he was handed the job of hosting the show After a brief lipsync and dance which he didnt choreograph but admits later is a skill he needs to work on he does a standup act The crowd has gathered around the stage making getting anywhere close a near impossibilityIf the Pepper at Tape A Tale was struggling a bit to find his feet the Pepper at Kitty Su owns the stage The accent is more pronounced friends whove known him from school and had come to support him said so later in the green room The makeup is on point And with high heels an already tall Pepper cuts an impressive almost intimidating figure But his smile is brilliant and puts everyone at ease Revellers whove paid to watch approach him for photographs And he obliges His only concern tag his Instagram handle desidragdiva when they upload it on social media And the dressA little background first Pepper is also a gifted artist An elaborate painting in his room catches our eye But Pepper who gave up a degree in fine arts to pursue economics feels otherwise He points at places where more work needs to be done His eye for detail has indeed been trainedThe outfit is impeccably turned out The tapedover pipes seem true to his vision His hourglass figure makes the woman in this writer feel frumpy and like all women he too complains that the heels hurtOn the Tape A Tale stage Pepper shares lines about drag he rehearsed before usI slowly got used to the aesthetic and began to appreciate the art and meaning behind drag Why cant a man wear a skirt What is drag Drag is a performance art Drag is the exaggeration of gender it is the rejection of gender it is a caricature of gender it is subversive and it is political it is thrilling and most of all its fun To be honest I cant really define drag but what I associate it most with is freedomCatch up on all the latest Mumbai news crime news current affairs and also a complete guide on Mumbai from food to things to do and events across the city here Also download the new midday Android and iOS apps to get latest updates