I am struggling to get over him...

How do I stop feeling the pain of a relationship not working out? My boyfriend and I were together for almost two years, and I was not prepared for him ending this, which is why I think I have taken it so badly. We broke up over four months ago and, since then, I have spent most of my time trying to analyse what went wrong. I ask myself if I was too needy or not the kind of person he wanted, and I can’t figure out what I did. He has not been in touch with me and refuses to take my calls, so I don’t message him because I don’t want to come across as desperate, but it’s cruel because it would have helped if he could just tell me what happened. How do I manage this constant despair?
Your grief and pain are justifiable and difficult to get over until you spend time with these emotions and allow time to take its course. You’re right that clarity and communication could possibly have helped you make some sense of what has occurred, but the fact remains that your partner has chosen to disassociate himself from you. If he isn’t willing to talk, you have to accept that reality and be kind to yourself. To assume that you are responsible for the end of your relationship only harms you, because you are using speculation to make yourself the bad person. Relationships involve two people, and the only way to deal with this is to allow your grief to evolve into something else. It will, if you are patient with it.
 
I broke up with someone because I wanted to be with someone else. Now, that person says I misunderstood him and he has never wanted a relationship. Will my ex-boyfriend take me back?
The only thing you can do is reach out to him, be honest about what happened, and accept what he has to say. It is his prerogative to avoid giving you a second chance.

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