Counselling should be an option if you both believe these arguments are a symptom of underlying issues, and if they are causing serious harm. Ask your wife for her opinion as well
Illustration/Uday Mohite
I have a huge crush on my doctor and don’t know what to do about it. We are the same age, and I know he is single, but there is a hesitancy on my part because I don’t know if I should say something to him. If he refuses to go out with me, I don’t want it to ruin our professional relationship. At the same time, I sometimes feel as if he spends more time speaking to me and is just afraid to get more personal for the same reasons. We have been trying to have this conversation for months, but I don’t know if I am just reading too much into this and if this is just how he is with all his patients. What should I do? I can wait until he says something, but I feel as if I should speak out as soon as possible.
You have a professional relationship as patient and caregiver, but you are also both adults who can have a conversation about life outside the waiting room. You don’t have to speak about your feelings, and neither does he. All you have to do is suggest meeting in a more informal environment, and a cup of coffee can’t hurt either of you. If he declines, it’s safe to assume you have misunderstood his friendliness for something else. It’s also possible that he will refuse to blur the lines given that you are his patient, but why assume the worst without trying? Ask him out and see what happens.
My wife and I fight about the smallest things, and I don’t know if this is a bad sign. We recently had a three-day fight about the laundry. Should we consider counselling?
Fights are a way of understanding each other and all healthy relationships have their share of disagreements. Counselling should be an option if you both believe these arguments are a symptom of underlying issues, and if they are causing serious harm. Ask your wife for her opinion as well.
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