That depends upon how important this version of the future is to you, what you are willing to compromise, and how you feel about going on without your partner
Illustration/Uday Mohite
I ended a relationship after two years and began dating someone else a few months later. My new relationship is now around five months old. A week or so ago, I ran into my ex-boyfriend and was surprised to find that I still had strong feelings for him. I don’t feel the same things with my current boyfriend which makes me wonder if I made a mistake. If I don’t warm up to my boyfriend in this way, is it a sign that this isn’t worth pursuing? Should I reach out to my ex and try to get back with him based on how I still feel? I am confused and don’t know what to do.
It’s natural to have feelings for someone you were in a relationship with. It’s also natural to take time to feel the same way with someone you don’t know as well. These conflicting emotions can coexist because you are dealing with two different individuals, and your relationship with each of them can never be similar. If you are confused, think about why your last relationship ended and why you chose to be with your current boyfriend. Take time for yourself, ask some tough questions, and answer them as honestly as you can. Also, try and accept that any new relationship takes time. Getting close to someone involves being vulnerable and open about your feelings. To assume this will happen in six months may not be realistic, given that you know your ex for a lot longer. Also remember that you don’t know how he feels about you, so the idea of getting back is speculative and not backed by real information.
Should I end a relationship because my partner doesn’t see the same kind of future I do?
That depends upon how important this version of the future is to you, what you are willing to compromise, and how you feel about going on without your partner. If you have answers to these questions, a decision may be easier to arrive at.
The inbox is now open to take your most carnal and amorous queries. Send your questions on email to lovedoc@mid-day.com
