She was honest enough to tell you something difficult. Your forgiveness, if it comes, must be unconditional, and can only happen if you trust her
Illustration/Uday Mohite
I moved to a new city six months ago and had to break up with my boyfriend because he didn’t think a long-distance relationship would work. I accepted his reasons because I knew I wouldn’t be able to manage if I was the only one doing the heavy lifting. He messaged a week or so ago, asking if we should reconsider our decision and telling me that he had realised he didn’t want to lose me. I was confused because I had already accepted the end of our relationship and was slowly starting to get out of the sadness of that initial phase. He said he was prepared to do whatever it took to try and fix this and asked me to give him a chance. Should I give it another try, knowing that he may change his mind again? Or should I just accept the clean break and start over? I am confused because I don’t want to deal with the pain of it ending again.
You can make your decision by evaluating the pros and cons, obviously, but you must first think about how you feel. Has it been easy to accept his absence in your life? Do you foresee things going back to how they were and, if they do, were you happy with the way things were before you moved? Put yourself, your needs, and your right to happiness first. If he makes you happy, it is worth fighting for even if things don’t work out because neither of you will know unless you try. If you don’t mind not being with him, it means you are ready to put it behind you and move on.
My girlfriend recently admitted that she had been flirting with some guy at a party after drinking too much. She says nothing happened, but I am not sure. How do I forgive her?
She was honest enough to tell you something difficult. Your forgiveness, if it comes, must be unconditional, and can only happen if you trust her.
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