Thinking about having an affair...

I am a 40-year-old woman and have been thinking about having an affair for a while now because my marriage is not working out. My husband is four years older than me and has no interest in me at all. We have not been intimate in over a year, and he isn’t concerned about this at all. He is only consumed by work and barely has time to chat, let alone go out with me or take a holiday. This has been going on for a few years, and we have both made peace with it because it feels as if there is no way out. I am sure he won’t even care about me cheating on him because he has made it clear that I don’t matter. I am only worried about whether this will have an impact on my mental health because I have never thought of myself as unfaithful in any way. What should I do?
You and your husband are adults with your lives ahead of you. If there is some clarity about the state of your marriage, or the fact that it isn’t a marriage at all, the sensible thing to do is address that with honesty and come to a conclusion about where things stand. If you are living with someone who isn’t interested in your presence or absence, that will inadvertently have an impact on your mental health irrespective of what you do beyond the boundaries of this relationship. An affair may seem like a great idea, moral and legal repercussions aside, but you must ask yourself if bringing a third person into your life is viable given the emotional toll it will take. That toll is inevitable even if you believe you can manage this, because there are real people and emotions involved. Why not confront your husband and have it out with him instead of skirting around the issue? Why not prioritise yourself, your life and future before looking at the possibility of happiness from an outside source?

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