I am a 40-year old man and have been trying to convince a woman to marry me. The problem, according to her alone, is her age. She is 30 and convinced that I am too old for her, even though we love each other a lot. I have never been married before because I didn’t find anyone I wanted to spend the rest of my life with until she came along. I have tried to tell her that we won’t have any problems with age, because I don’t even consider it an obstacle, but she is concerned about how things will change when we are both older. She says I may be difficult to handle, which frightens her. I don’t have any response to that objection because it makes no sense. I can easily tell her that she may turn out to be more difficult when she is older, but she doesn’t see it that way. My parents know about her and approve, but she hasn’t even mentioned me to her parents because she doesn’t know how they will react. I love her a lot and don’t want to lose her. What should I do?
She is presumably still a part of your life, which is a good thing because it means she hasn’t given up on you just yet. There will come a point where she will have to make up her mind either way, because to not make a decision will be unfair to you both. Your arguments are compelling but mean nothing if she isn’t prepared to keep an open mind about this. All I can suggest you do is spend as much time as you can with her and use your actions to do what your words cannot. No relationship can escape the danger of a partner who decides to change, due to age or any other reason. She may take some time to arrive at that place of understanding and recognizing that you accept her as an equal will go a long way.

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