Boyfriend is saying he was engaged against his will...

Dear Diana,

Illustration/ Sameer Pawar

I am 22. My boyfriend is 26. He recently went back to his native place in Bihar. On his return, he told me that his family had set up a match for him. When I asked him why he never told them about me, he tells me that it all happened too soon and that he had no time wherein to make them understand that he was already in love with someone else (me!). He has returned, engaged. He says that he hadn't even met the girl before this and that they had called him home under another pretext. He hasn't been home in four years, so it's believable that they would do something like that. Only trouble is, the marriage date has been fixed to early next year. I believe in and love him but am at a loss to understand how he cannot tell his parents now. We belong to the same caste. So I don't see a problem. Also, my parents are fond of him, so I don't see a problem at their end.

Ulka

Dear Ulka,
He's engaged, not married. Surely, he can walk out, citing any number of reasons. It would be a good idea to begin with the truth. The parents could always claim they never knew. It is, however absurd, that they didn't give him much of a choice in the matter, considering that he would be spending the rest of his life with a woman who's a stranger to him, and whom he doesn't even love. It wouldn't be fair to her either. The best thing would be to call off the engagement before matters deteriorate further. And if he cannot do that, tell him you will dump him and never meet him henceforth. And deliver on that promise, if he can't do that much for you.

Have no friends!

Dear Diana,
At 19, I have no friends. I am extremely studious and never found time to study with or help any other classmate, I was brought up to believe in nobody's success but my own. I fear I may have become something of a loner. Will I never have friends?