Slipping into sexual insolvency Or losing your footing in bed? Don't be self-critical. Let self-arousal bail you out Often, daily chores, professional pressure and a mundane routine leave you strained, stressed and with little energy or inclination to enjoy the act to the fullest. In some case, it's so serious that sex becomes a rare luxury, and arousal a fond remembrance. Asexuality sets in, and one becomes comfortably numb. Obviously, such a life is no good, physical, mentally and emotionally. If you're a fallen victim of this syndrome, addressing it is important, before it's too late, lest youu00a0 end up regretting your wonder years. Continued self-denial from sex can kill the drive forever, so read on to know how you must reclaim the lost territory. <img alt="" src="/imagedata/2009/aug/19xtreme.jpg" border="3" /> Explore more Spend some time exploring what excites you, and what turns you off. Everything doesn't suit everyone. For instance, lavender smells yummy to many, but its strong aroma faints an equal number of people. You can also fall back on words, pictures, exercises, tastes and venues that put you back on the track of pleasure. Start from within Often, the most memorable journeys are the ones made within. Might sound spiritual, but it works. Feed your soul with emotions that trigger you deep inside (pretty pun, we know). Read Paulo Coelho's Eleven Minutes for inspiration. At the same time, don't hold emotions like a watertight compartment. Feel, talk, express and live the moments of pleasure, lust and stimulation. Lean, skinny, fat, obese, short, dark whatever your body or skin type, take pride and let go. That's the way human existence was meant to be. Carry yourself with utmost confidence, love yourself and pamper yourself, even sexually. Indulge in kinks, fetishes, fantasies and props, if you must. Try the craziest of KS positions, it might just give an unbeatable boost. Remember, it pays to be selfish on bed, and shows self-approval. Massage delivered A careful session of self-arousal heals, relaxes and tones up the senses, and of course, renders you better-ready for the partnered pleasures of the future.u00a0 Experiment with the self, too; that way, you'll do it better when with someone else. When doing the desirous duet, lie down on your tummy and ask your partner to sit atop and press your shoulder. This will relax the muscles, after which your partner needs to run his or her finger down the chest. Touching the lower back in men and shoulder area in women can make them feel great about themselves, thus giving that much needed impetus. Further, the two of you can explore the deeper,u00a0 softer zones with firm, rhythmic finger movements. Mirror, mirror... A mirror is an underplayed tool of ecstasy. You don't need a partner to make you feel like a man or woman; a life-size mirror is enough to evoke ethereality. Gift yourself some sensuous lingerie and when hours turn wee, put it on, wear some makeup and a perfume, dim the lights and play seductress with the mirror. Look at your reflection, but picture the person in it as a stranger or the diva you look up to. Now slowly feel yourself. After a couple of minutes, start undressing and allow yourself all the pleasure.

Slipping into sexual insolvency Or losing your footing in bed? Don't be self-critical. Let self-arousal bail you out

Time to help yourself

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Time to help yourself

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