Deepika Padukone's therapist on how she fought her own depression demons

Deepika Padukone with Anna Chandy at the inauguration of their mental health foundationIn March 2014 Anna Chandy was away in Kerala on a personal visit when one day she found a slew of missed calls on her phone A family friend had been desperately trying to reach her Her daughter was in deep pain Two flights later Chandy found herself in Mumbai at the residence of her Bengaluru neighbours daughter Deepika Padukone Talking and listening to her through the day Chandy was certain the successful Bollywood actress was suffering from clinical depressionTalking her out of initial reluctance Chandy convinced Padukone to see a leading psychiatrist in Bengaluru who set in motion her treatment Over the next nine months Chandy the first certified training and supervising transactional analyst from Asia accredited with the International Transactional Analysis Association was to be Padukones therapist While the treatment continued she would often have long telephonic chats with Padukone helping her realise that she couldnt let stress get the better of herOnce free of depression Padukone famously opened up to the world about her condition and set up The Live Love Laugh Foundation in Bengaluru to destigmatise and raise awareness about mental health in India Chandy chairs the foundationAlso read Deepika Padukone Depression can strike anyone regardless of their age background or economic statusAmidst all this the therapist felt the time was ripe to write about her own experiences with candour In her recent book Battles in the Mind Penguin Random House Chandy describes her emotional struggles which introduced her to counselling and shaped her as a professional As a counsellor I wanted people to know counsellors have issues too I wanted to normalise mental health concerns she says In the West and elsewhere it is a requisite for counsellors to undergo personal therapy to be able to effectively help othersCounselling 101As a child raised in a dysfunctional family Chandy took on the responsibility of keeping the unit together from a tender age This coupled with unfortunate incidents of child abuse which she could not bring herself to speak about until much later left her deeply wounded It altered her personality and she got into a pattern of putting herself last in every situation making sacrifices at the cost of her physical and mental wellbeing Finally she began to loathe herself But Chandys introduction to counselling was not for her own sake Her brotherinlaw was suffering from schizophrenia and to equip herself with the knowledge to care for him she joined a counselling centre where she began her training in 1994She soon realised she was providing for others exactly what I needed for myself Chandy writes mentioning how she felt ashamed to seek help initiallyIt was during this time that she came across the tool of Transactional Analysis TA a psychoanalytic theory and method of therapy which she explains in the book in detailSeeking helpThe three basic assumptions of TA Chandy explains are all human beings are fundamentally okay they all have the capacity to think unless severely challenged everyone can decide their own destiny What struck me about TA ishellip it states that every person no matter how entrenched in trauma and tragedy has the innate ability to transform himself or herself and live a happy life she writesSeeking help starts with awareness In the present urban scenario that leaves busy professionals with little time for themselves becoming aware recognising patterns in ones behaviour requires concerted efforts see The Healing Questionnaire Have you been edgy or reactive of late Have you become disinterested in something that you always liked doing Have you been procrastinating These are some questions one needs to ask Chandy explains adding that she comes across body image issues regularlyIf one does overcome the barrier of the stigma associated with seeing a therapist the success of counselling transcends the individuals effort In a collective society like India it is important that ones family is supportive So often an individual is asked why he needs an outsider when an entire family is there for him she says pointing out that therapy succeeds due to objectivityTaking chargeChandys life as a therapist came full circle when along with helping others she managed to help herself She opened up first to her therapist and then her mother about the abuse she faced as a child She confronted the latter about how she was asked to take on a role that was way beyond her age She shed her identity as the sacrificing daughter the good docile wife much to the joy of her husband and the perfect homemaker to establish herself as a respected therapistI have been getting hate mail from some of my family members for writing this book but it had to be written Chandy admits Through this book and the foundation I need people to know that they are not alone We all have our stories and we all need to start living loving and laughing again