Experts share the importance of anger management

When Rahul Dravid would step out to bat the entire country sat up and took notice When he used a cricket bat in a commercial to smash the rearview mirror of a nearby car in an apparent fit of road rage it took the Internet by storm So synonymous is Dravid with his icy cool almost stoic demeanour that even the advertisement in question has him proclaim himself as lsquoIndiranagar ka gundarsquo owing to his outburst The understanding is implicit mdash anger simply has no place in civilised societyldquoItrsquos important to understand that anger in itself is neither healthy nor unhealthy It is what you do with that anger that can be classified as healthy appropriate and sustainable or unhealthy inappropriate and unsustainable The function of emotions is to communicate your needs in a given situation They stir a response in your physiology body and influence your behaviours actions so that you can respond to the situation effectivelyrdquo explains psychologist Priyanka Bajaria And so when we shut down or repress our anger we are not tuning in to our needs she adds Collectivist cultures discourage expressions of anger so as to avoid hurting people and preserve harmony within relationships This is also why we tend to not learn the skills of communicating anger in healthy waysTake time off to process your mental state Representation picBajaria also points out that repressing anger has been found to have repercussions on mood cognitive activities and physical wellbeing ldquoA study by Earnest Harburg a psychologist and professor at the University of Michigan found that people who suppressed the anger they experienced in response to an unjust attack were more likely to develop bronchitis heart attacks and die earlier than their peers who found ways of expressing their anger I visualise this process as a type of internal combustion which is will cause lasting damagerdquo she cautionsDonrsquot suppress itCommon advice such as lsquocounting from one to 10 whenever you are angryrsquo lsquodrinking waterrsquo or lsquothinking about something elsersquo donrsquot work says counselling psychologist Sushma IR This is because anger is a dynamic emotion and the aforementioned techniques only serve to suppress it ldquoYour goal must be to transform anger to a healthier negative emotion such as annoyance or irritation which you can then express rationallyrdquo she addsSami Sayyedgtgt Learn to communicate your anger rather than acting it out Use the following sentence structure I feel angry because specify the reason Frame the sentence in your mind before saying itgtgt Ask yourself lsquoWhat am I aiming for Will my anger help me to achieve itgtgt Acknowledge that you are angry and communicate this to those around you says Kanchan Rai a mental wellbeing coach Take time off to process your emotional state before expressing what is bothering you Bajaria also emphasises the importance of replacing ldquoI am angryrdquo with ldquoI feel angryrdquo so you can depersonalise the anger and look at the situation objectively Sami Sayyed a 30yearold marketing professional admits that this strategy transformed the way he managed angerldquoIn the past I would try to suppress my irritation until things went out of hand I have often broken things that were dear to me Taking a step back has given me the clarity to respond and not reactrdquo he saysSushma IR Kanchan Rai Fatima Agarkar Priyanka Bajariagtgt Change what you can and let go of what you canrsquot says Rai ldquoInstead of agonising over triggers that are beyond your control distract yourself by doing something you enjoyrdquogtgt With young children educationist Fatima Agarkar recommends setting clear boundaries about acting out behaviour but encouraging them to talk about what is bothering them