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Go with the flaw

Updated on: 14 October,2019 07:46 AM IST  |  Mumbai
Anindita Paul | theguide@mid-day.com

Being Insta-famous comes with its own pitfalls of constant scrutiny. But by posting an unabashed picture recently, singer Demi Lovato proved that you don't need to live up to unrealistic expectations. Experts tell you how

Go with the flaw

Lovato poses with visible cellulite in this photo that she put up on Instagram

In a world where social media posts by popular celebrities routinely "break" the Internet, it's hard to get excited about yet another bikini photograph. But when chart-breaking American pop star Demi Lovato recently posted a picture of her in her beachwear, millions of followers sat up and paid attention. The photo in question stood out not because of its masterful framing or careful editing. On the contrary, Lovato's unedited photo fearlessly flaunted cellulite: a condition that most people believe celebrities are immune to.


In the accompanying post, Lovato also discussed how the pressure to constantly keep up with others' expectations from her body pushed her to extreme measures, including punishing workouts and a slice of watermelon instead of cake on her birthday. With posts such as these, Lovato is part of a growing list of celebrities — including Beyoncé and Jennifer Lawrence — who have publicly vetoed efforts to airbrush their images to meet unrealistic ideals. And while naysayers are quick to dismiss these moves as publicity gimmicks, they do play a crucial role in helping dispel the flawed perception of beauty that celebrity culture and social media routinely peddle to millions of unwitting users.


Aman Bhonsle
Aman Bhonsle


Virtual equals real
"Our visual sense has the most impact when compared to auditory, taste or touch," explains Dr Nahid Dave, a psychiatrist at Insight Clinic. Consequently, the influence of what you see will always be far greater than anything you hear. "Even if you consciously decide to not let yourself be influenced by what you see on Instagram, your subconscious mind is still being trained by these picture-perfect photos. The greater the exposure, the harder your subconscious mind tries to emulate this virtual 'reality' in your daily life. This can create high stress levels because you are chasing an illusion of reality. It can also affect your thinking as you begin to filter everything in your life as either being 'perfect' or 'not good enough'," she explains.

Over time, the virtual world you are creating on Instagram will seem increasingly distant from your real self. And while your virtual identity can boost your self-esteem and confidence, your real life will fall short of the high standards you have already set for yourself, she warns. While these comparisons are not necessarily a cause of psychiatric conditions, they can make those already suffering from poor self-esteem more vulnerable to depression.

Anuradha Mohan
Anuradha Mohan

Cycle of negativity
"On Instagram, opinions and feedback are polarised and instant. Further, the added exposure that a public profile on Instagram facilitates also comes with a liberal dose of trolls. Many people, emboldened by the anonymity one has online, will post negative and often derogatory comments. To my surprise, I've found that people will even go to the extent of creating fake profiles to troll influencers. None of this criticism is constructive. For instance, when I recently posted a collage of two photos — one recent and one from 2012 — of myself wearing the same dress, many people wrote to me telling me that I looked better when I was thinner and younger, and that I should revert to that shape. That can be very demotivating. People will also ask me to 'fix' my duskier skin tone. It doesn't help that beauty, as defined by Instagram, has very narrow parameters," explains Anuradha Mohan, 27, a beauty and fashion influencer.

She adds, "There is constant pressure from followers on beauty bloggers to only showcase themselves wearing heavy, artificial-looking 'Instagram-inspired' make-up. Any deviation is discouraged as is apparent from the drop in the 'likes' and 'comments' that these photos receive. Many beauty bloggers will go to the extreme of wearing heavy make-up each time they step out of their homes. At events, particularly, if your look isn't congruent with your Instagram self, followers will not hesitate to call you out."

Anindita Kundu
Anindita Kundu

Anindita Kundu, a psychotherapist, adds that shame is one of predominant emotions that arise from trolling. "While working with young adults I have found that negative experiences on Instagram are strongly and directly related to increased symptoms of depression and anxiety. In my sessions, I have also noticed that clients respond to trolling with the same intensity as the trauma associated with abuse. When people experience trauma, every negative experience pulls them deeper into depression, while positive experiences don't stick. Hence it is important to be mindful of the content that we are absorbing through social media," she says.

All Insta-good?
Psychosocial analyst Aman Bhonsle believes that an individual's response to social media is largely reflective of their internal state. "What you carry within you is also what you will end up seeking out. And while the need to be visible and noticed is fundamental to all of us, it is also important to remember that the virtual world is constantly curating and selling perceptions," he says. Counselling psychologist Namrata Jain advises taking a step back to periodically assess your Instagram usage and determine whether the content you are viewing is relevant and beneficial. "Reflect on how the photographs you view make you feel about yourself and your life. Understand that comparisons are unhealthy and that letting go of negative influences is as simple as hitting the 'Unfollow' button," she says.

Jacilyn Ledford

Gauge Insta's role in your life

I believe that Instagram is a beautiful medium to discover others with similar interests. However, as someone who has struggled with eating disorders and mental illness, I am careful about who and what I follow online. Considering that my perception of my body is already skewed — I tend to only focus on what I believe I am lacking — I have carefully designed my Instagram feed in such a way that I am constantly exposed to positivity. I created my profile in 2012 and, looking back, I can see distinct changes in how I use the medium. Previously, most of my posts were selfies and photos of my body and reflective of the validation I was seeking from my followers. I worked as a promoter for an alcoholic beverages company, and the job involved dressing up in tight, short dresses, attending events and posting pictures. I was receiving a lot of unhealthy male attention and demeaning comments from strangers. I've since learned that if you decide to put yourself out there, you must have self-awareness to either decide to skip reading or to ignore comments. I took a step back to understand the role of Instagram in my life. Now, I use the platform to share and promote only my art and writing, and to connect with like-minded people around the world.

- Jacilyn Ledford, 34, educator and artist

Ami Savla Hemani

Don't feed the troll

Social media trainer and consultant Ami Savla Hemani describes the best way to tackle online trolling.

. Respond with facts: Are your trolls spreading rumours, incorrect information, inaccuracies? Use facts to your advantage while being respectful.

. Correct mistakes: Listen to what people say on your social media accounts. Trolls feed on discrepancies between your past and present or on mistaken assumptions. A clear explanation of the intentions behind your actions is often enough to discourage most trolls. Don't delete comments as this will escalate the negative behaviour.

. Use humour: Don't take things too seriously.

. Build: A supportive community will have your back during difficult times.

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