Keep calm and stay indoors

One of the most disheartening byproducts of the ongoing lockdown is the massive spurt in incidences of domestic violence mdash the number of complaints of genderbased violence recorded by the National Commission for Women has grown more than twofold in the lockdown period In fact acknowledging the severity of the problem Maharashtra Chief Minister Uddhav Thackeray urged afflicted women to register complaints and seek counselling Dr Ambrish Dharmadhikari a psychiatrist at MPower confirms that a substantial number of calls received on the tollfree helpline that the organisation has launched in conjunction with the Maharashtra government and the BMC have had to do with domestic disputesEngaging in artHe explains Many families are yet to come to terms with the new normal that the lockdown has imposed mdash the division of roles and responsibilities is unclear There is also a lot of anxiety about the future financial losses and the couples anticipation about being able to survive the lockdown These fears and frustrations are often displaced on one partner or on children in the form of physical and verbal violence Anindita Kundu a practising traumainformed psychotherapist adds that in the absence of other engagements and distractions the entire focus of the couple is back on the relationship Very often domestic abuse or violence comes from a place of power and seeking attention With no physical space between partners their individuality in the relationship is lost The space each person has from the other is drastically reduced she says Kundu and other mental health experts share ways in which you can deescalate arguments and prevent flareups during the lockdownYoga can help Stay saneSelfsoothe Psychologist Priyanka Bajaria says that while you cant control the other person during a conflict you can control your response to them It may be tempting and reasonable to shout back during a violent verbalphysical attack on you but it will escalate the situation shymdash the aggressor may feel as though they cannot successfully exercise their power and control over you To deescalate the situation take a deep breath before responding Maintain a nonthreatening posture and a neutral tone Neurobiologically your body will want to mirror the other persons body language and facial expressions However this will give them another reason to pick a fightDr Ambrish DharmadhikariAssess Dr Sagar Mundada a psychiatrist at Health Spring suggests identifying trigger points and avoiding those especially if the other individual is prone to violent fits of anger This could be anything from the pitch of your voice when you address them to specific areas of your relationship that they are touchy about Avoid these trigger points as far as possible to prevent flareups he advisesAnindita KunduNourish your selfesteem Constantly being on the receiving end of verbal or physical lashings can take a heavy toll on your selfesteem and selfconfidence says Dr Mundada Over time you may actually begin to believe that you deserve poor treatment Make sure to dedicate some time during the day mdash at least one hour mdash to yourself Use this time to listen to positive selfaffirmation either on YouTube or other selfhelp channels he addsPriyanka BajariaEmpathise Although it might be difficult to keep yourself from reacting emotionally Dr Mundada suggests taking a step back and viewing the situation from the other persons point of view This he says can temper your response to an angry outburst You could also seek empathy from a friend or a family member when the going gets tough This acts as a healing touch in times of distress There are several portals such as blahtherapycom where you can anonymously vent your emotions Simply having someone who listens to you can take away some of the anxiety he saysDr Sagar MundadaWhile domestic disputes with family members during the ongoing lockdown may be a tremendous cause for stress they could also bring with them an unexpected silver lining Bracing yourself to deal with angry outbursts can in fact improve resilience and teach you empathy Teaching yourself to cope with such flareups enhances your emotional intelligence Dr Mundada saysModeration is keyBecoming aware about the source of your anxiety and frustrations and the fact that you are displacing these on helpless members of your family is the first and most important step towards preventing these episodes experts say Additionally you can Further displace your anger Find a find a pillow or an inanimate object that you can physically punch this will help to take the edge off your temper says Dr MundadaPractice mindfulness An easy way to keep yourself in the present is to concentrate on your breathing Acknowledge the thoughts that cross your mind without acting on them You could also use free guided mindfulness apps These can help you build a higher frustration threshold in just ten days says Dr Mundada Your impulsiveness will reduce and your ability to think things through before acting out will improve Instead of reacting you can strategise your response The chances of you lashing out at a partner or your child will be much lower he saysVisualise your response Imagine stressful scenarios that may arise in future and frame a response that you would want rather than what comes impulsively to you Doing so can change your reaction patternsActivate your vagus nerve In stressful situations the human body tends to automatically goes into the survival mode says Kundu Activating the vagus nerve which balances the nervous system and helps your body calm down and relax can help One of the easiest ways to activate this nerve is to take a cold shower Alternately you could rub an ice cube on your lips or face which contain the highest concentration of nerve endings Chanting of any form singing and humming can also stimulate the vagus nerve which is closely related to your vocal chords Other activities that might help include physical exercises such as stretching yoga or pilates and grounding activities such as cooking gardening or creating art that involve working withyour handsCall 1800120820050 18001024040 helpline by CM 07217735372 helpline by NCWCatch up on all the latest Mumbai news crime news current affairs and a complete guide from food to things to do and events across Mumbai Also download the new midday Android and iOS apps to get latest updates MidDay is now on Telegram Click here to join our channel middayinfomedialtd and stay updated with the latest news