India has by far the highest Per Capita Offendees in the world. Almost everyone these days is a Professional Offendee, with an all-purpose searchlight to hunt out of every possible cause, issue and event at which to be offended, so they can foam at the mouth. Anything will do, including Genuine Offendees, and most Professional Offendees graduate to Professional Trolls in one smooth, eel-like move. Look how they exploded when Aamir Khan shared his family’s worry for their safety — completely understandable, given how hundreds of Muslims were butchered in the Gujarat riots of 2002; an estimated 40,000 Muslims were displaced following the Muzaffarnagar riots of 2013; the lynching this year of Mohammad Akhlaq in Dadri, following rumours that he stored beef; the murder of rationalists like MM Kalburgi, Narendra Dabholkar and Govind Pansare, with little accountability from those implementing the law. Instead of acknowledging a real, Nazi-like persecution of minorities, and addressing minority fears, Professional Offendees howled that while Aamir Khan had no right to feel persecuted, they had a birthright to Be Offended. And they need new, moving targets all the time.

Deepika Padukone and Priyanka Chopra do the Pinga dance in Bajirao Mastani