Neurosurgery should be your first wife, not your mistress,” a patriarch old-timer neurosurgeon was famous for telling all married resident doctors interviewing for a post-graduate training seat in the specialty. “And if you’re not married,” he used to caution, “it’s better to stay that way. It’s very hard for a relationship to blossom in the stressful environment of a residency programme.” Those who interviewed for the post pretended to accede to his suggestion, although most married as soon as they got into the course—with varying outcomes, of course.

A vocation does need the exact kind of commitment one seeks from a marriage. You have to be imbued with grit and gumption. Our vocations (not professions) give us purity of desire and unity of purpose. “If you really want to make a wise vocation decision,” writes David Brooks, “you have to lead the kind of life that keeps your heart and soul awake every day.” In my opinion, this also applies to the decision of marriage. What you do for a living and whom you decide to marry would probably be the most important decisions of one’s life. But these too, are not set in stone. You can course correct anytime. I know of doctors who have switched to politics, engineers who’ve turned actors, businessmen who’ve become monks, and monks who’ve become millionaires.