Social media has a way of making you feel you can be anyone, and do anything… without putting in the work. Are we setting, and following, unrealistic expectations thanks to our curated feeds?
I want you to realise one important thing: any Reel that shows vlogs, lives, and journeys of others is often the selected “best moments”. Representation pic/iStock
When I put up my “Life of a newspaper editor in Mumbai” reel up last week, many comments, and DMs, asked me, “How do I get this job?” The reel showed me out and about in Mumbai, attending events, making content, and just trying to get through a hectic, crazy life that I wouldn’t want to trade ever. I love my life, and my job, and yes, it does take me to cool places and make me meet cool people every day.
But, it has taken me 24 years to get here. I started working in 2002 and it’s 2026 now, and everything I experience now is because of the hard work, and behind-the-scenes drama that only comes with experience. And so, even if I can manage to tell you how to get this job, you may have to spend some time in it, before it gives back.
And herein, is where social media comes in. Most of the time, we see people living their best lives on these platforms, and it could be natural to feel: can we have the same lives? Yes, we could, maybe, somehow, but we will surely need to work for it.
I do feel that this may affect the younger generations more. For someone like me, who is 44, and who grew up for almost 30 years of my life without social media, it’s natural to assume that a lot of work goes into whatever content you see online, even if it looks effortless. I have never looked at someone and said, “oh if I start doing this, I will get the same results, right away.” Because, I know, that’s not possible.
And so when I see another writer, or journalist, getting accolades or opportunities I haven’t got, I often know that they must have either been in the right room at the right time, or maybe they had been putting in the work on a specific project. The internet says that it’s because social media acts as a “funhouse mirror”, which are common at carnivals, and show you a distorted reality.
When we are constantly exposed to perfect or beautiful, or exciting, or ideal images of other people’s lives, we look at our own life, and fall short. That makes us unhappy, and depressed. Many times, without really taking any steps towards this goal, which may not even be aligned with who we are, we desire for it to be ours. We set unrealistic expectations for ourselves even without knowing our own true talents, or strengths.
I want you to realise one important thing: any Reel that shows vlogs, lives, and journeys of others is often the selected “best moments”. Even if they show struggle, they show the moments that were good enough to film. For example, to reach the position I may be at today, I have had to spend years being misunderstood, attacked, and rejected. For many years, I felt I wasn’t good enough at my job, till one day it all started making sense. I got better at dealing with the chaos, and developed enough self-confidence to create and evolve without fearing judgment.
If you are a young person reading this column, or just someone who has been feeling “behind” the rest of the world because social media has made you believe so, you need to know that your biggest superpowers are your authenticity, individuality and your journey to get to your goal. Start where you are, and speak your truth, instead of trying to fit into a mould made by another person.
Stop chasing the milestones already set by another. Your life is yours. Live that. You got this.
See you next time.
Ranting and raving about all that’s trending on social media, Aastha Atray Banan is an author, creator, podcaster, and the Editor of your favourite weekend read, Sunday mid-day. She posts at @aasthaatray on Instagram.
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The views expressed in this column are the individual’s and don’t represent those of the paper
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