Australia and England Tests are not only one of cricket's most fabled contests, they have also produced some of the best insults, or "sledges", in the countries' bitter sporting rivalry. Here are some of the best: "You are a damned lot of sneaks." England's W.G. Grace to Billy Midwinter, The Oval, 1877 "A cricket tour in Australia would be the most delightful period in one's life, if one was deaf." England fast-bowler Harold Larwood, during the 1932-1933 Bodyline tour. "Leave our flies alone Jardine, they're the only friends you've got." An Australian spectator to England cricket captain Douglas Jardine during the Bodyline tour. "Bowl him a grand piano and see if he can play that instead!" Australian spectator. "Don't bother shutting it, son, you won't be there long enough." England's Fred Truman to incoming Aussie batsman as he opened the gate on his way out to the middle at Lord's. "England have only three major problems. They can't bat, they can't bowl and they can't field." Cricket writer Martin Johnson. "A fart competing with thunder." Graham Gooch on England's chances in Australia in 1990-91. "If it had been a cheese roll it would never have got past him." Gooch on Shane Warne's "ball of the century" which bowled the corpulent Mike Gatting at Old Trafford in 1993. "Mate if you just turn the bat over, you'll find the instructions on the other side." Australian bowler Merv Hughes to England's Graeme Hick. "What do you think this is, a tea party? No you can't have a glass of water. You can wait like all the rest of us." Australia's Allan Border to Robin Smith. "There's no way you're good enough to play for England." "Maybe not, but at least I'm the best cricketer in my family." England fast bowler James Ormond's retort to Mark Waugh, brother of Australian captain Steve. "Take a good look at this arse of mine, you'll see plenty of it this summer." England's David Steele to Australian wicketkeeper Rodney Marsh. "Shane Warne's idea of a balanced diet is a cheeseburger in each hand." Australia's Ian Healy, 1996. "We're fat, we're round, three dollars to the pound." England's Barmy Army supporters during the 2006-2007 series in Australia. "I'm completely different from (Kevin) Pietersen. He would turn up to the opening of an envelope." England's Andrew Flintoff, 2010.

Australia and England Tests are not only one of cricket's most fabled contests, they have also produced some of the best insults, or "sledges", in the countries' bitter sporting rivalry.

Great Ashes "sledges" for the ages

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Great Ashes "sledges" for the ages

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