Indian Matchmaking director Smriti Mundhra: Criticism is inevitable

The Internet is steaming and Sima aunty from Mumbai is the trigger Netflixs brand new show Indian Matchmaking has turned the arranged marriage business in India into a talking point with a sliceoflife look at the unrealistic expectations harboured by young men and women and boys with mild Oedipal complex Its director Smriti Mundhra who made the Oscarnominated A Suitable Girl a story about three women fighting the pressure to get married tells us she is not fazed by the avalanche of criticismEdited excerpts from the interviewSmriti Mundhra What did you discover about the Indian marriage scene during research and shootingThe Indian marriage scene is as broad and diverse as India itself No one method or set of ideals works for everyone Having been through the process myself I came to recognise that marriage in India is starting to become more flexible and adapt to the needs of young people For many the term arranged marriage is loose and really just means that the parents are involved in the process of finding a life partner Of course the more conservative and traditional ideas of arranged marriage also exist in our culture Why choose matchmaking in the age of dating appsThe idea behind the show was to show how the process of and ideas around arranged marriage are changing and whats constant We knew we could never make a show that would represent every aspect of this very complex and diverse topic so we focused on one matchmaker and her clients and tried to depict as many diverse points of view and backgrounds as possible while staying authenticMatchmaker Sima Taparia from Mumbai is the protagonist of the showThe people chosen are real not actors How did you go about the selection processFirst it started with who was willing to go through this process with cameras on them That prospect eliminated a lot of people from Simas list of clients We also did some outreach on our own Of the group that was willing we focused on the people who were the most open ready to be honest and represented different aspects of the Indian and diasporic experienceAlso ReadWatch Video Sameera Reddys spoof on Indian Matchmaking with motherinlaw leaves netizens in splitsDid you stop to think if it may come across as regressiveIt was all about people being themselves and us showing the process for what it really is We tried to reflect the reality of our subjects not project what we think the process should beMumbaibased Akshay at the roka ceremony His mother had specifications for the sort of person she was seeking as daughterinlaw What did you want audiences to take away from the showThat Indians and South Asians are not monolithic we have different experiences backgrounds ideologies and priorities that impact our approach to finding a life partner This show only gets into a tiny bit of that But I hope it continues to spark necessary conversations within families among friends and between generationsWhat do you make of the reactionsmdashthe good and the badI welcome it all Im thrilled with the praise and also understand that with a topic like this which is so personal criticism is inevitable We are having necessary and longoverdue conversations because of the show and thats a good thingAlso ReadYou Have To Adjust And Compromise To Watch Netflix Indian MatchmakingSima Aunty is not wrongAarti and Hitesh ChhabriaMumbais Hitesh and Aarti Chhabria who run Soulmeet a matchmaking service for Sindhis and Punjabis turn reviewers for Sunday middaySO yes the show is a bit dramatised and the long pauses are awkward But that could be because the people are not actors and they are uncomfortable in front of a camera But the rest of it is quite real and matchmaker Sima Taparia is really not a bad sort Despite her age she has the patience to deal with all kinds of people When she says compromise she doesnt mean that you get married below your class or specifications She means people need to adjust For example if you are a girl who stands at 5 feet 3 inches and you only want a boy who is 5 feet 10 inches she may tell you to see a man who is 58 but is still ticking off all the other boxes on your list She is also right when she says that parents should be involved in the process We have experienced sometimes that couples meet and date for months and eventually dont get married if parents arent involved Much like on the show the girls are more demanding and rarely want to climb down We have had clients who came to us when they were 23 and they havent found a match even at 36 Thanks to dating apps that may be fulfilling their emotional and physical needs they are okay even if the match is delayedIt could be because they want too much Or it could be thanks to as Sima says destinyWe once facilitated a couple who were in love and got them married and they got divorced in six months We are not sure why some people are critical of the show It reflects exactly what is happeningCatch up on all the latest Mumbai news crime news current affairs and a 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