‘We’re asked, What’s between your legs?’

A couple of months ago Christina Evers was stopped from entering the ladiesrsquo washroom at Kalyan station by cis women ldquolsquoGo to the gents washroomrsquo they yelled at me I shot back lsquoTo get rapedrsquordquo recalls EversAccessing public spaces has always been a challenge for trans women in India Cis men fetishise andor brutalise them cis women donrsquot accept them as one of their own and even the cliques within the queer community donrsquot let them inIn 2023 Evers moved from West Bengal to Mumbai where she is now a management executive at Godrej She recalls how she was advised to stay in the closet when she was looking for a home ldquoThey told me I didnrsquot look like a trans woman and said that if I didnrsquot tell anyone I was one theyrsquod consider renting me a house I told them lsquoIt has taken me years to come out and accept myself as a trans woman I will not hide who I amrsquordquoThough things were harder in Kolkata Evers says she did not expect the hardships to follow her when she moved here One of the things that surprised her was the dirty looks from women at mall bathrooms There are times when female security guards will conduct a ldquosecurity checkrdquo before allowing her to enter the washroom mdash yet another exercise in stripping her dignity ldquoEven during the security check lsquoAap idhar jao aap udhar jaorsquo go here go thererdquo she explains ldquoI tell them lsquoI am a woman Please treat me with respectrsquo Still the female security guard insists on checking mersquordquo she addsEven in the rarefied atmosphere of the AC local train the daily commute feels like an endurance test ldquoIn a crowded train a cis woman once said to me lsquoAap kyu touch kar rahe rahorsquo Why are you leaning on me and touching me I told her lsquoJo aapke paas hai mere paas bhi hairsquo On longdistance trains once they figure out wersquore trans men get handsy They think they have the rightrdquo she addsWhich is why when someone like Orry aka influencer Orhan Awatramani uses transphobic slurs as a punchline it legitimatises treating both trans men and women badly ldquoIt feeds into this hetronormative narrative that lets shun trans personsmdashespecially transwomenrdquo says EversIt has only been 15 years since Rochelle Pinto a 28yearold HR executive has ldquocompletely embracedrdquo her trans identity But this selfacceptance has come at a cost as she gave up the privilege that came with being a cis man and open herself to the harassment that comes with being a trans woman ldquoOn a daily basis I get uncomfortable stares catcalled by men There is a notion that ye toh kinnar hai kya kar legi She is trans she canrsquot retaliaterdquoldquoBeing stared at continuously right from the minute you step out until you come back home gets to me to an extent that in some days I donrsquot want to step outrdquo she says Even dating is an ordeal ldquoIf a cis man matches with you the first thing he asks is usually lsquoWhatrsquos between your legsrsquo Or lsquoHave you had surgeryrsquo They donrsquot even engage with you as a human being I am so sick of itrdquo she addsThe other extreme is when people revere trans women as deities because of the cultural context of Ardhnareshwara Shiva and Parvati fused as one Pinto relates an incident when she stopped for dinner at a small familyrun hotel in Dombivli ldquoThe family was very welcoming I paid the bill but just when I was about to leave they brought out a thali and did my puja I was so surprised They forced R50 on me and put my sandals on for merdquo she saysldquoIt was very uncomfortable I understand their reverence for the hijra community I also wasnrsquot comfortable going through an lsquoelevated experiencersquordquo she addsThe trans community is an ubiquitous part of Mumbai but that doesnrsquot necessarily mean this is a transfriendly city Maybe itrsquos time to educate ourselves Mumbai