There are legal implications to consider but if someone isn’t really single, they aren’t going to be fair to you, themselves, or their current married partner
Illustration/Uday Mohite
I am a 24-year-old woman and I was in a relationship with a guy whom all my friends despised. We were together for a year-and-a-half, and they kept telling me that he was the worst person for me. The thing is, I knew he was not nice, and also that I could have been with someone better, but I also loved him a lot and felt as if I was happy when we were dating. Eventually, their criticism wore me down and I just decided to let go of him. He was sad because he said I was letting my friends sway me, but it became too difficult to keep justifying myself to them. It has been three months since our relationship ended and I think about him a lot, mostly wondering if I did the right thing. Should I have stayed?
You made a decision not only because you had peer pressure to deal with but because you accepted that he was not a good person for you. Missing an ex is normal given that we open ourselves to partners to a certain extent, and the sensible thing to do is accept that you will feel grief for a while. It’s impossible to predict if a relationship will or won’t work, but the fact that you already knew this wasn’t someone you were going to be with permanently should help you come to terms with your decision. As for your regret, the best way to counter that is to be honest with yourself and think about why you gave in to what your friends were saying. Also accept that they meant well, and examine their reasons for not liking your ex-boyfriend.
Is it okay to see a man who is separated, or should I walk away and agree to date him only after he is legally separated?
There are legal implications to consider but if someone isn’t really single, they aren’t going to be fair to you, themselves, or their current married partner.
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