Dr Love with Mid-Day: Can’t deal with his drunken rages....

My boyfriend and I have been together for around a year-and-a-half and the one thing that bothers me is his behaviour when he drinks alcohol. He scares me and I don’t know how to manage. He says it’s under control and he hasn’t done anything to hurt me, but he turns into someone else and I don’t know how to react. I keep worrying that at some point, he may do or say something that can’t be fixed because he loses his ability to think or behave rationally. I know he is serious about me, and I love him a lot, but this one thing may be a deal breaker when it comes to whether this relationship lasts. Is it reason enough to not take him seriously?
Yes, anything is a reason enough to end a relationship if you aren’t feeling secure. Your reasons may seem trivial but if you aren’t comfortable around someone irrespective of what they say, it’s a problem. He may believe everything is under control but if this is a concern for you, it needs to be addressed, especially if it is making you reconsider the seriousness of this relationship. Talk to him about why your perspective on alcohol is different from his and be honest about why you are worried about its impact on your relationship. If nothing changes, your feeling of insecurity will only get worse.

I’ve ended an affair with a married man, but I have been struggling to move on. I knew there was no future with him, but I can’t stop thinking about him either. How do I cope with this?
You have to trust yourself and your intelligence and remind yourself that this ended for reasons that were well considered. Putting aside legal and moral implications, you know there is no resolution here given that he isn’t with you and can’t be with you. Missing someone is normal, but so is acknowledging when there is no possibility of this working out in the real world.