I am a 25-year-old in a relationship with a guy who doesn’t make any effort to improve our relationship. He is a few years older than I am, so I don’t know if that is one of the reasons why he takes this for granted, but we have been together for six months and I am doing all the work. I plan the dates, make time to do stuff together, and even help him open up about his personal life. It’s not as if I don’t like being with him, but it often feels as if nothing will happen if I don’t take the first step. When I ask him about this, he says relationships aren’t meant to be stressful. I don’t want it to be either, but I think there has to be some work put in to make it feel as if we want to evolve together. Am I wasting my time with him or should I be patient and hope that things will improve?
Age has nothing to do with mutual respect. If you are unhappy, you’re entitled to feel this way irrespective of whether your boyfriend thinks it’s not how a relationship should be. If he isn’t taking you seriously, that’s a problem because you may have different perspectives about your relationship, but they still need to be acknowledged and worked around. It may take him time to start seeing things from your point of view, but you have to ask yourself how long you are prepared to wait until that happens. At what point will patience give way to resentment, if you feel as if you are the only one pulling your weight here? He needs to take this more seriously and, more importantly, accept that you are entitled to ask for more. If you aren’t getting what you need from this, start thinking about why you need to be in a relationship with this person. Six months is enough for someone to make changes that ultimately help you both grow stronger.

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