A few weeks after my boyfriend and I got physically intimate, he said this relationship wasn’t working because he didn’t feel as if we were compatible. This was a huge shock for me because I felt used, but he said he would stay with me if I felt that way because he didn’t want me to think he was using me. That made me feel worse because it was as if he was going to be with me as a favour, which I was not even going to consider. It has been a while since we spoke, and I have not been able to get over this because there are many conflicting feelings in my head. I want to move on and put this behind me, but I can’t because of the way the relationship ended. Should I speak to him about this or just let it go and move on?
It’s okay to feel everything you’re feeling because this is obviously a difficult situation to manage. To move from a position of vulnerability to rejection is not going to be easy and you’re not going to be able to just move on without taking the time to process it. Speaking to your ex may help in some way if you feel as if there are things that need to be said, or even if you feel as if your feelings need to be seen and validated, but this is about coming to terms with a painful experience and finding the strength to accept it. For now, the best thing you can do is sit with your emotions and be kind to yourself because you have been through something painful. With time, and the objectivity it brings, you may be able to see the positive side of not being with someone who values you, or who is honest enough to talk about incompatibility even if you disagree with it. Ultimately, a relationship can only work if two people want it to. If it’s one-sided, nothing can save it.

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