How will I know when I am ready for a big commitment with my girlfriend? We have been in a relationship for around two years and things have been great, but there’s also no pressure on either of us to take this to the next level. I know she is happy with the way things are and we have never discussed the future, but we are both going to turn 30 this year and I am starting to think about what comes next. If she says she isn’t ready to take the next step, I don’t know how comfortable I will be because I want some security and I want that decision to define what I do next. Should I end this relationship if she says she isn’t ready to commit? What if she is ready and I am not?
This is a question only you and your girlfriend can find an answer to, provided you are both honest enough with yourselves. To not have this conversation is not an option because you can’t presume to know what’s on her mind, certainly not when something so important is at stake. Commitment may seem like a big word, but what it really is at the heart of it is a desire to be with someone based on the acknowledgement that they matter and fulfill a need. Have you both talked about needs and expectations from each other and from this relationship? If you haven’t, that is the place to start.

How do I speed things up when it comes to dating? I find it tiresome to go on endless dates without knowing if there is something real.
You can’t speed up the process of someone trying to figure out who you are just because you want a relationship. Ask yourself if you are prepared to be with someone without knowing who they are and accept that these things take time because they matter. If they don’t matter to you, always admit to it before you go on a date.