I am always the odd one out when it comes to hanging around with my friends, and don’t know how to change. This has an impact on my confidence, as well as my ability to have any relationship with guys. I am a 23-year-old woman and all my friends are dating, which only makes me feel like more of an outcast. When we have a party, I am always the single person in a corner, and I can sense that it’s becoming difficult for them to include me all the time. I don’t want to be a problem, obviously, but I can’t just change my personality or become someone else. I don’t know what to do and have begun avoiding my friends because of this. Please help me figure out a solution.
What you’re going through is difficult but understandable given the pressure to conform. It’s okay to feel this way because our peers do have the power to affect our confidence as well as our sense of identity. What you can start doing is accepting that you’re probably not like your friends, which is why you feel as if you don’t belong. This is not a sign that there is something wrong with you, as much as it is a signal that you haven’t found people who make you feel like you can be happy in your own skin. This isn’t to say your friends aren’t good for you either, just that it’s important to recognise and acknowledge that we evolve constantly, and people we were close to at some point aren’t necessarily the ones we stick with. It may feel as if avoiding your friends is the only solution until you start dating, but it may help if you lean into how you feel and start being more accepting of who you are. Your friends will find it easier to be around you when you are more comfortable being yourself, and that journey to self-discovery will also help with your confidence. Be nicer to yourself.

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