My friends and I have been arguing a lot since I began dating a guy a few months ago. They think I have been ignoring them and spending more time with him, and they’re right but it’s only because this relationship is so new and I need more time to understand my boyfriend a little better. I thought my friends would see this and be on my side, but they refuse to accept this reason and I’m starting to feel as if they are jealous of what I have. I know this sounds paranoid, but they are single and I am the only one currently in a relationship so I can’t seem to find any other reason for why they are behaving this way. How do I deal with this situation?
You can’t please everyone, and you shouldn’t. You have been open about your reasons, have explained why your priorities are different for now, and your friends have the option of being understanding or not. If they choose not to, they are revealing their own priorities. It’s possible that they may change and come around to being more accepting, but all you can do is try and arrive at a compromise that works for you. If spending a little more time with them can diffuse this situation, try it. If that isn’t enough, do what you think is right for you and let everyone else adjust. Sometimes, distance brings a different kind of clarity, and they may learn to appreciate this friendship a little more when they feel as if it is being threatened by their lack of support. As for jealousy, it’s impossible to speculate if that is the reason for their displeasure, so why not give them the benefit of doubt and try seeing this from their perspective too? If they feel as if you have changed too suddenly after meeting your boyfriend, a period of adjustment may be normal. If that is the case, it may help you empathise with them a little more too.

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