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Dr love with mid-day: Not sure how to initiate intimacy...

Take your time, don’t rush into anything either of you are uncomfortable with, and this will work out when it has to.

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Illustration/Uday Mohite

Illustration/Uday Mohite

How long should I wait before considering physical intimacy with my partner? We have been dating for almost two months now and have begun to consider it, but I don’t want to rush her into anything she doesn’t want to do. I am also afraid of saying something because I may offend her, so I keep waiting for her to say something first. So far, she hasn’t said anything directly. Is it abnormal or unnatural to not have any physical contact after being together for two months? Is it a sign that she’s not interested in that aspect of our relationship? How will I know what to do?
Your partner is probably weighing these same questions in her mind, and the best way to arrive at a sense of what you both want is to talk about it. As two adults, you are both entitled to discuss and do anything you want to, which includes conversations about intimacy. This has nothing to do with abnormality or it being unnatural because you are entitled to make up the rules and set any boundaries for your relationship. If you have a question, try asking it. If you don’t like the answer, discuss it. Either way, it is only by opening up about what’s on your mind that you can find emotional intimacy, which is often a prelude to a physical act. Take your time, don’t rush into anything either of you are uncomfortable with, and this will work out when it has to.

Why do I always end up just being ‘the friend’ in any relationship when I want more than that? Am I putting out the wrong signals without being aware of it?
This may have less to do with signals and more to do with how you communicate. Being direct about what you want is great because it helps avoid misunderstandings. If you keep getting the wrong idea about how a friendship is or isn’t supposed to evolve, you’re probably not being clear about what you would like.

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