My girlfriend spends a lot of time chatting with people online, and it used to be okay when we first began dating but is now starting to become a concern. I don’t know why she feels this compulsion and whenever I ask, she says it’s sometimes boring for her to chat with me alone. We have been together for almost a year now and I don’t know if she’s saying that she’s beginning to get tired of our relationship. Am I overthinking this? If I ignore it, should I assume she will eventually stop chatting with strangers and start taking me more seriously? What should I do if this doesn’t happen and only gets worse?
The minute you start to assume that something will change if you leave it alone, the higher the chances of it becoming worse. If you and your girlfriend are both struggling with some aspect of this relationship, it can only be resolved through patience and dialogue. Ask her what you can do to address her comment about boredom, try and understand her point of view to see why she feels the need to chat with strangers, and allow a discussion to unfold so you can both be honest about what can be done to improve how you communicate in this relationship. Think of it as a test that can bring you together and make your bond stronger. This may be the first of many hurdles you face together, and how you approach it will define the rest of your relationship. Try approaching her without judgement, ask if you can explain why this bothers you, and allow her to be more expressive about what the problem really is. If this can’t be done, or if it continues without any resolution, you may have to be more assertive and insist upon an explanation that works because it will then clearly be a problem that hasn’t been addressed in a meaningful way. Until that happens though, keep lines of communication open and try being more patient.

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