He can’t take my mood swings...

I feel as if I am going to lose my boyfriend soon because of my mood swings and depression. Whenever I feel this way, I end up starting an argument and say a lot of hurtful things. I know I am causing him pain, but I can’t help myself and he is struggling a lot to deal with me. I want to tell him that I am not well, and that these things are symptoms of what I am going through, but I know he doesn’t have the coping mechanisms, and it is only a matter of time before he feels as if he can’t take it anymore. We have been together for almost a year, and I have never felt this strongly about anyone before, which is why I don’t want to break up. How can I get him to be more accepting of my behaviour?
Depression, like any illness, can have serious repercussions for the person suffering as well as those closest to them. If you acknowledge that this is something you are struggling with, and your boyfriend doesn’t have the tools, the only way of saving your relationship is to acquire those coping mechanisms for yourself as well as him. He may not understand your condition, so ask him how he feels about this relationship and whether he wants to make it work. If he does, and accepts that this involves therapy, you can both speak to a counsellor who can give him insights into how to manage your condition, while helping you communicate better. This isn’t something that can be dismissed with a conversation or request for understanding, so it is important that you both address what needs to be done, and why a professional will have to be involved. If he isn’t willing to commit to that kind of effort, which may be a possibility, ask if he will wait while you work on getting better. It’s not a fair solution, by any means, but there is no shortcut to handling this condition.

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