You can be kinder to yourself and give yourself time. Two people in a relationship will always treat the ending of it differently, and both reactions are valid
Illustration/Uday Mohite
My boyfriend and I have opposite views about my sexual history, and he doesn’t get over the fact that there were other people in my life before we began dating. I have been very accepting of his past, but he can’t seem to get over mine. This hasn’t caused any problems between us, but it is always simmering beneath the surface whenever we have an argument and I feel as if he can’t get used to the idea of my being an individual with a life of my own that is separate from our relationship. How do I get him to see this and move on? I really like him and believe we have a future together if he can find it within himself to think of the bigger picture.
You could try talking about the bigger picture more often and ask him to focus on tomorrow rather than yesterday. It may be easier said than done because insecurities like these don’t go away overnight, but backing your words with actions can make a huge difference. If he recognises that your love for him is stronger than he thinks it is, it may be easier for him to accept that there is no point in obsessing over a period of time when he wasn’t around. You should also reiterate your individuality and point out that your personal boundaries are important and should be respected. If he can’t respect them, the love he professes to have isn’t going to be enough.
I recently broke up with a guy I was sure I would marry, and he acted as it if was no big deal at all. This has shaken me because it makes me feel as if I misread the whole relationship. How do I get over it?
You can be kinder to yourself and give yourself time. Two people in a relationship will always treat the ending of it differently, and both reactions are valid. If he has moved on, accept that at some point, you will too.
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