Every relationship is different, and only the people in it can understand what goes on. Your friend is an adult and well within her rights to make any decision about her life
Illustration/Uday Mohite
I am a 27-year old woman and was recently ditched by a guy I dated for a little under six months. He was not very nice to me during that time, and we didn’t get along at all, so I was okay when it ended because I was miserable in that relationship. Around a week ago, I found out that he has been on two dates with one of my closest friends, which has left me hurt and confused. She knew what I was going through and knew what things were like between my ex and me. For her to agree to go on multiple dates is unimaginable, and I don’t know if this means our friendship is over. I don’t know what to say to her, so I have been avoiding all contact, but it is causing me a lot of distress. If they decide to get into a serious relationship, I may have to cut her off and I don’t understand why she would do this. Am I being unreasonable about the whole situation?
There is nothing unreasonable about feeling the way you do about anything or anyone, and you shouldn’t apologise for your feelings. What you also shouldn’t do is assume things about anyone without having a conversation with them about it. Your friend knows what happened between you and your ex, and presumably has a different equation with him which may explain why she went out with him once, and then again. Why not give her an opportunity to talk about it, explain why she has done something that hurts you, and see if she sees things the same way? If you can’t handle her being in a relationship with your ex, you don’t have to meet either of them, but why end a friendship without giving her the benefit of doubt? Every relationship is different, and only the people in it can understand what goes on. Your friend is an adult and well within her rights to make any decision about her life.
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