This shouldn’t have to be an awkward conversation if you are both prepared to be mature about it
Illustration/Uday Mohite
I often struggle to figure out if I am doing something wrong in our relationship. My partner makes me feel like I am always creating unnecessary issues, starting arguments, or making things hard for both of us because he is calmer than I am. I may be short-tempered compared to him, but I don’t believe I am always responsible for the bad things that happen. He wins arguments by being calm, not by acknowledging what I am pointing out. My friends tell me I am right, but he never accepts that. It’s starting to make me feel as if I can’t be in a relationship with anyone just because of my personality. What should I do?
A partner who isn’t listening is one who is being disrespectful because he doesn’t think that what you say matters. This isn’t healthy because it implies an imbalance of power. You shouldn’t have to apologise for your personality because your partner presumably accepted you as who you are. If your friends believe he isn’t listening, and you agree, this sounds like gaslighting because you’re entitled to feeling the way you do, and being angry about something you believe isn’t right. Tell your partner why this is disrespectful, have this conversation when you are both calm, and give him a chance to change how he interacts with you. If you notice that things aren’t evolving, it may be time to reconsider the future of your relationship.
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I’m confused about feelings I have begun to have towards one of my best friends. She has been in my life for years, but I have never felt this way about her until recently. I don’t know if it’s just infatuation. What do I do?
Give it time, think about how you feel a few months from now and, if the feelings don’t go away, consider telling her what you think. This shouldn’t have to be an awkward conversation if you are both prepared to be mature about it.
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