If you want to be with someone else, you owe it to your wife to be honest about how you feel. Forcing yourself to stay in any relationship can never end well
Illustration/Uday Mohite
After 10 years of being with a guy, he says he no longer loves me, and I don’t know how to cope. We have been together since college, and it was always taken for granted that we would marry and live together for the rest of our lives. I don’t know why or how this distance grew between us even though I admit that things were difficult for the past couple of years. Part of me always assumed we would find a way to resolve our issues because there was no doubt that we loved each other. Now, after what he has said, I don’t think there is a chance. What should I do?
You’re right about being able to resolve issues if there is still love because that brings with it the possibility of acceptance. Without it, this becomes a one-sided relationship and that won’t last very long. Ask your partner to consider a holiday with you, or some time away on his own if he prefers, and consider meeting with specific comments about what each of you thinks isn’t working. This may also allow you both to evaluate the importance of the other in your lives and consider what your priorities are. Relationships constantly need work, and longevity often leads to complacency, but maybe a break is what you need to stop taking the other person for granted. If that is not an option, and he is sure that there is no love, you won’t be able to save this on your own.
I have been married for two years but have always had feelings for another woman. Should I stay with my wife or go to the person who has always been there for me?
If you aren’t committed to this marriage, you are doing yourself as well as your wife a disservice. If you want to be with someone else, you owe it to your wife to be honest about how you feel. Forcing yourself to stay in any relationship can never end well.
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