He still meets his ex-girlfriend

I am a 27-year-old in a relationship with a 30-year-old who still has an unhealthy connection with his ex-girlfriend. They meet regularly, chat a lot on most days, and it sometimes feels as if I am the odd one out here. This wasn’t a problem when we began dating, because I thought it was healthy that they could stay friends, but we have now been together for over a year, and it is starting to feel abnormal. I don’t know if I am overreacting or reading too much into this, but he should be closer to me than to his ex, and that makes me confused about the nature of this relationship. I haven’t broached this topic with him yet because I don’t know how to. He thinks everything is fine the way it is, and I feel as if I am creating unnecessary issues by telling him this is bothering me. What should I do?
You should tell him why this is bothering you, because you are inadvertently cutting off lines of communication by assuming you will create an issue. There already is one and not addressing it won’t make it go away. There’s nothing wrong with someone being friends with an ex-partner, but there’s nothing wrong with you feeling the way you do either, because your feelings are valid. If you can’t understand the nature of his friendship, you should be able to ask about it. The onus of helping you resolve these conflicting emotions is on him because you are the person he is romantically involved with. Initiating conversations about tricky subjects is never pleasant, but acting upon them is critical for any relationship to evolve. Your partner needs to know what you’re feeling and should offer you a place of security that allows you to express anything you’re going through. If his ex-girlfriend bothers you, it is only by articulating this that you will both be able to come to an understanding of where things stand. Don’t be afraid to speak out.

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