Dr Love with Mid-Day: Her mood swings are very worrying

I am a 28-year-old in a relationship with someone who is around three years younger. We have been dating for six months or so and the one thing that worries me is her mood swings. On some days, she is kind and loving but, when something shifts, she is unreachable and uninterested in speaking. This goes on for a day or two until she comes back to her normal self. I know there may be hormonal reasons for this behaviour, but it is frustrating if she can’t tell me what’s going wrong. I keep wondering if I have done something to offend her and find myself becoming nervous for hours because I feel guilty. This isn’t sustainable and I don’t know how to tell her that it’s harming our relationship. I love her a lot and really want to be with her. What should I do? Should I just accept that this is who she is and try to cope with her behaviour?
It takes time to understand a person and every relationship is different. To try and ascribe hormonal changes to mood swings may be reductive because you don’t know what your girlfriend is going through. It’s possible that she just doesn’t have the tools to communicate with you yet, not because of something you’re doing or because there’s something wrong with her, but because she’s trying to work through something else. Opening up to someone isn’t always easy even if you think you are at a place in your relationship where you don’t feel the presence of those barriers. Try being patient instead and tell her that you’re there for her if she ever needs to talk. There will come a time when you both arrive at the same place of trust and openness, so try focusing on why you want to be with her instead of looking only at mood swings that are temporary. Reminding yourself of the big picture can help you navigate these tricky moments and start playing a more supportive role.

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