His alcohol issues are worrying...

My boyfriend has a problem with alcohol, and he frightens me when he has had too much to drink. He is not abusive or unkind, but I worry because it feels as if this is something he can’t control. We have been dating for three years and have spoken about marriage, but I can’t commit because I don’t know what starting a family will be like with someone who can’t manage a bad habit. He says I am being unnecessarily cautious and wants me to stop worrying about it, but I can’t. We love each other a lot, and I know I can’t live without him, but I am also mentally prepared to end this if I feel as if I am signing up for a lifetime of problems. What to I do?
You are making a decision based on how you feel, backed by three years of experience and information. If your boyfriend isn’t taking your concerns seriously now, chances are he won’t in the future when there are other challenges and hurdles to overcome. Substance abuse or addiction of any kind is an illness and needs to be treated as such. The first step is acknowledgement, more so when this addition is causing pain to someone. If he claims to love you but can’t address something that is of obvious concern to you, this may become a bigger problem as you both get older. Starting a family is serious and life-altering, so you are right to be cautious. Take your time, talk about why this may be a deal-breaker and if nothing changes, go with your intelligence rather than your feelings.

I’ve recently ended an affair with a guy who is going to marry someone else, but I’m having some trouble moving on. Should I be with him despite knowing this won’t end well?
If you know what you are signing up for, you should be prepared for the consequences too. Why assume you will always struggle with this separation?