Horrified to know about her ex!

A month after my girlfriend and I were engaged, she told me she had been in a two-year relationship with someone we both know. This is before we began dating, but the person is a horrible human being whom I cannot stand. She says it’s why she didn’t mention it because she knew it would make me angry. I am livid, but I am also horrified because I can’t imagine anyone being in a relationship with a person like that. I don’t know what this says about my girlfriend, her choices in life, or how she sees me. It makes me feel as if she has no standards, and this has begun to play on my mind a lot. Am I being paranoid or projecting my hate for this person onto her? Should I just treat it as the past and let it go, or is there something I should take as a warning here? She didn’t say a word about this, which also means she doesn’t have a problem keeping secrets from me. What should I do?
She has explained why she didn’t mention this before, and it seems as if her reasons were perfectly plausible given the effect of that information on you. You can go by what she does, and her present relationship with you, rather than worry about her standards or decisions she made in the past. To assume we don’t make mistakes is laughable, and to judge her current choices based upon her past is a disservice to her as well as yourself. Take some time to process this, evaluate what she means in your life, and focus on why the two of you decided to marry. If this is someone who matters to you, and whose presence you value, it can help you decide whether to obsess over her earlier relationships or concentrate on the future you have planned together. Ask her for some time and space until you get a better grasp of where and how things stand between you two.

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