I’m also not sure I want to break up. Should I just ask for more time?
Illustration/Uday Mohite
A few years ago, my boyfriend told me we would get married if we managed to stay in this relationship for over five years. I agreed because I was madly in love with him. We completed our five-year anniversary a month ago, and he is very excited about us getting engaged. The problem is, I am no longer sure about this as a lifetime commitment. I still love him but, the more I have got to know him, the harder it has been for me to overlook some issues. I don’t know to tell him that I am not sure about marrying him because I know this will break his heart. What should I do? I can’t get engaged just to make him happy and can’t break up without a good reason. I’m also not sure I want to break up. Should I just ask for more time?
If you have been together for so long, shouldn’t you be able to have a conversation about this without being afraid of how he may react? Successful relationships are based primarily upon communication, and it seems as if you don’t have the kind of open channels with your partner that you should. Being with someone for years is also different from wanting to spend the rest of your life with that person, and you should absolutely ask for as much time as you need to feel more comfortable with the idea. If that period of reflection makes you reconsider the relationship, that is your prerogative too. I suggest you tell him what you’re thinking as soon as possible, because you owe him that conversation. Your relationship will also evolve when you are both more honest with each other.
My boyfriend recently said something particularly cruel and hasn’t apologised for it because he believes he is right. How do I get him to see this from my perspective?
It’s possible that one of you is wrong, but admitting that can only happen through dialogue, mutual respect, and being able to listen.
ADVERTISEMENT
The inbox is now open to take your most carnal and amorous queries. Send your questions on email to lovedoc@mid-day.com
Subscribe today by clicking the link and stay updated with the latest news!" Click here!
